Indians are big believers in finding true love after marriage!
Finding love online is probably that the last thing your parents want you to do. But things have been changing so fast that you will be surprised at the speed with finding love online has taken off in India.
Here are some pointers that tell us why finding love online is a happening trend in India today.
a. The estimated value of the online matrimony market in India by 2017 is projected to be worth $250 Million, according to Associated Chambers of Commerce and Industry in India. Parents are one of the most active and motivated users of matrimony sites!
b. Indians are also finding love online through dating sites. Dating is all set for a boom and the proof of this happening is the mushrooming dating sites and apps that range from matchmaking services to Tinder clones.
c. Let’s not forget that social media tools like Twitter, Quora, and Facebook has also helped Indians find love online. However, these connections don’t happen deliberately and are no different from you falling in love with a handsome, young man you bumped into at a mall!
That’s not all, Indians have not yet developed the social skills needed to find their soulmate on their own nor is it still acceptable to have casual conversations in public places or meet women in bars!
Dating sites, matrimony sites are capitalizing on this opportunity by making the process less intimidating and private to some extent.
Finding love through online matrimony sites
When you reach the “marriageable age”, the first thing your parents do is to create a biodata for marriage. They will share this document through traditional snail mail or through email. The idea here is to find people within your parent’s social network. Invariably this process is a hit or miss. Most likely, they will enroll in an online matrimony site.
There are plenty of choices available for you when it comes to choosing the right matrimony site. Here are a few simple questions you need to ask yourself to identify the site that best suits your requirements.
Answer the following questions and you will probably have a shortlist of sites that may work for you.
Answer these questions before you shortlist a matrimony site.
1. Would you prefer to interact with parents or with potential matches directly?
Most popular matrimony sites (Shaadi, Jeevansathi, Bharat Matrimony) have a large number of profiles created by parents. They do have profiles created and managed by prospective matches but you won’t find too many of them. If you want to directly interact with potential matches, you should look at the countless other sites that have sprung up in the recent past.
2. Are you very specific about marrying within your religion / caste / sub-caste?
Once again, the big three sites excel in helping you search within your community. You will also find regional / local sites that cater to specific communities (Example: Sai Sankara Matrimony in Chennai caters to the local Brahmin community).
3. Do you consider yourself “elite / high-net-worth individual”?
If you have a high-paying job or running a big business or you come from elite schools, you will find it difficult to meet someone who will meet your “standards” through traditional matrimony sites. You are better off taking the dating route or hire a matchmaker who specializes in providing services to rich / high-flying people.
4. Are you open to arranged dating before marriage?
Matrimony sites may not be the right option for you if you would like to date the person you shortlist before committing to marriage. You may have to look at other matchmaking options. Read on to find out.
Here is a list of online matrimony sites in India along with pricing information and customer reviews. Click here to read this in-depth article.
Finding love through online matrimony sites starts with finding a compatible person who meets all your basic expectations. You need to then really do that hard work before and after marriage if you have any hopes of converting finding true love.
Here is how online matrimony sites work.
1. Sign up to create your profile free of cost.
2. Complete your profile and upload a photograph.
3. Use the search feature to start searching for matching profiles.
Matrimony sites have mind-numbing search options!
4. Express Interest or send a message.
5. You will also receive notifications when other parents are interested.
6. Remember to also check out self-created profiles. You may be lucky to directly interact with a boy or girl. Don’t have your hopes high on this front.
Most profiles in matrimony sites are created by parents
Beware of these matrimony site pitfalls
There are several challenges you will face when you use matrimony sites.
First of all, you will be sold to at every turn to upgrade.
Matrimony sites want you to always upgrade to a premium service!
Sign up for the upgraded version only after checking out the free version.
Beware of con artists and charlatans using matrimony sites as their playground. Here is an extract from a recent news!
Con artists use matrimony sites to lure victims.
Finding love through dating sites in India
Young, tech-savvy men and women of India have easy access to smartphones, laptops, and other such easy-to-carry gadgets and they are always ‘connected’ and looking to try new things through trendy apps. Dating sites in India are capitalizing on this trend as young Indians in urban centers are hoping to find love online.
Here are three reasons that explain the phenomenal growth of dating sites in India.
1.Exposure to theculture of finding love before marriage: Westernization and greater exposure to the idea of not depending only on a chance meeting to fall in love have led to the growth of dating sites in India.
2. Increase in connectivity: The big jump in the smartphone usage (650 million in the next four years) along with mobile internet connections (354 million as of June 2015) has provided young Indians an opportunity to discretely find love away from the gaze of the families and with privacy.
3. International dating companies have opened shop: The entry of international dating apps like Tinder and the likelihood of other apps like Zoosk, OKCupid, Hinge, POF, and eHarmony entering the Indian market in the near future will see more marketing campaigns that will get more Indians to try the idea of finding love online.
There are plenty of local online dating apps and websites.
You can take a pick from many Indianised dating apps if you want to try your luck in finding love online. Truly Madly, Woo, Cogxio, Vee, are some of the dating applications in India.
Here is how most of them work.
1. Sign up.
2. Complete your profile.
3. Like people and wait for them to like back before getting connected.
Here is how Tinder works.
Dating sites make it easy for Indians to find love online.
Indian counterparts of Tinder have a more elaborate process to sign up and some of them place emphasis on validating profiles or use sophisticated matchmaking algorithms.
In addition to online dating, Indians in cities are finding love using dating / matchmaking services that provide a combination of online and offline services.
Sites like UrbanTryst, Floh, and Aisle provide an opportunity to create your profile and declare your expectations. They then match you with prospective dates in a casual setting or a group date. These are organized by the service provider around fun activities with the hope that cupid will strike at least some of their members.
Here is how UrbanTryst explains the process.
Hybrid matchmaking service providers have an elaborate process.
Online dating – Gateway to nightmares?
All said and done, online dating in India (and elsewhere) is fraught with major issues. Here are some you should keep an eye out for.
1. Do you really know who you might be meeting? Manipulation of personal data on online dating platforms is one of the biggest concerns for women. There is no guarantee that a man with whom a woman is interacting has shared genuine information pertaining to his identity.
2. Beware of stalkers and ‘players’. Stalkers, spammers, and verbal abuses abound on dating sites. Real life stalking is also a possibility and many women have had to face unsavory incidents of stalkers turning up on their doorstep.
3. You can always sign up but you can never leave! After having explored the world of online dating for a while, if a woman wishes to exit, she may find that parting ways is pretty difficult. The removal of her account from the dating website doesn’t guarantee that her profile will be disabled.
4. No means yes? Men in India still have problems taking rejection in their stride. There are countless cases of acid attacks, kidnappings, and other forms of harassment that goes beyond stalking. Bollywood also has driven home the point that if you try hard, every woman that says “no” will end up saying “yes”!
According to a research conducted by a marketing firm, Indians use Facebook, Shaadi.com.and Twitter to find love online.
The study also reported that 35% of Indians surveyed in a study reported that they found love online.
Surveys apart, there are some real life stories of how social media brough people together. Here is an example of how Twitter brought together these love birds who eventually got married!
Real life story of a girl finding love through Twitter!
Facebook and Twitter are not the only fish when it comes to finding love online. Ever heard of Quora, a Q&A site? Finding love on Quora seems to be ridiculous, but Indians (who are one of the most active users of Quora) seem to have fallen in love with other Quora members!
Here is a story of a girl who found her husband on Quora.
A real life story of a girl who found her husband through Quora.
Last, but not the least, Facebook has always resulted in connections that move beyond just being friends. Some of these love matches cut across international boundaries! Click here to read one such story of a woman from Orissa who married a Pakistani man, thanks to Facebook!
Just the phrase “Dating Indian Men” is enough for a tumult of reactions, much like shouting “Fire” in a crowded area.
Some people will run away to avoid getting into a discussion; Some will just stand and watch, the rest will have opinions ranging from “What brutes they are!” to “What misunderstood poor souls they are!” and everything in between; Some of us will go on a tangent with comments like “Why date? Just marry?” and “Against our ancient culture”, and of course, the inevitable “From Sita to Draupadi, the woman is the source of all problems, even with dating.”
There will also be quite a few declaring that the problem is not the Indian Men, it is the Indian Woman, leading the poor lamb on and abandoning him at the altar of parental approval.
We are going to mostly leave the women alone, ignore societal norms as far as possible and just focus on the good, bad and ugly aspects of dating Indian men. In the interest of leaving the page with a warm, fuzzy feeling after an enlightening read, let us just get the ugly out of the way first!
This is doubly true for Indian men, they have not quite evolved from the pack foraging stage of Gorillas. In fact, given the unshaven look preferred since Premam, you could be forgiven for thinking Gorillas have moved into Indian cities! They move around in groups – A gang is most apt, considering their collective behavior. They even cross the street as a gang! Isn’t that taking“One for all, all for one a little too far?”
A group of Indian men
The gang will produce a lot of background music, cat calls and snippets from popular songs, to accompany the poor sod’s clumsy attempts at asking you out on a date. Be assured every gesture, every word, every smile, every look of yours will be dissected, none too gently, once you are out of the picture. Of course, they will not accompany the “chosen one” on the date, but they will hover in the background.
Every attempt to continue the conversation post-date will be a competition for attention between the wolf-pack and you. You might even correctly surmise, the wolf pack is guiding the conversation at his end post date!
Ego and the Indian man are blood brothers
Every (He)Indian man thinks it is beneath his dignity to admit he actually wants to enjoy your company and wants to get to know you better or that you have other better options out there.
His ego and his gang insist he is God’s answer to you, if not all women kind.
I would say some 80% of potential romance with Indian men breaks down at this stage.
What are you doing?
If the romance continues, the next showing will be the light-green monster, the brother of jealousy (he is the dark green one), Mr. Possessiveness.
He will want an account of every second you are not together. He will want to know the composition of your friends groups, how many girls, how many boys, how many of them have hit on you, how many have you viewed favourably and so on and so forth. You get the picture, right?
What are your intentions or do you know his intention?
If you possess all the right qualities, the caste/creed/education/social strata his mother would approve of, he will decide you are the only one for him. You would have hardly had the time to draw a breath and settle into the comfortable and exciting “getting to know each other” phase of your relationship when he starts pushing for a lifetime warranty.
If you, justifiably, decide you need more time to get to know each other, you will find both he and his cronies are labeling you as “fast” and questioning your motives.
19% of romance fails at this point.
If you don’t possess all the right qualities? He is probably just looking for a final fling before settling down with mama’s choice.
One day soon, like Angela says, “He is going to come to you and say, “We don’t have a future together” and break it off. Before you invest too deeply in a relationship, find out where you stand!”
Can you put up an act?
Let us say, you are still on, now comes the final deal breaker. He wants you to meet his parents his siblings, his friends, his favorite teacher, practically everyone! But here is the nub: he wants you to impress everyone, for whom, he has the slightest regard or affection.
He wants you to suddenly become a chameleon, docile potential bride to his mother, cool indulgent brat to his siblings and cool sophisticate to his colleagues, an endless list really. All your “cute” traits – the somewhat loud laughter or your messy hair, become liabilities as you go about meeting his “people”.
I guess it is good to remember the advice the sage gave to the king, “This too shall pass!” If you can see past this nutty stage, you will go on to something more conventional, perhaps even beautiful.
Dating Indian men: The bad
One cannot in good conscience lay all the blame for the nightmare that is dating Indian men at the door of the man alone.
The concept of dating does not exist here. Marriage exists and the marriage is between two families, not between two individuals. The head of the family decides who and when one should marry, keeping Patriarchy well and truly alive.
The net result? As Rishab Goel says, “Indian men have no clue about how to approach woman or talk to her or what makes her tick.”
Indian men ARE mama’s boy, how can they be anything else but? Remember how thrilled a mother is when the baby takes her first step? Well, the Indian mom carries it into adulthood. I have the best story to illustrate this.
A Chennai mom instructs a mom in Jaipur on the intricacies of making Idli/Sambhar for her son studying in Jaipur. The mom promptly makes a batch and delivers to him in his college. Similarly, the Chennai mom learns to make Ghatiya over the phone and delivers it to the Jaipuri son in Chennai.
I hope the current generation is somewhat nauseated by the advertisement but there were, undoubtedly, quite a few moms (with college age son(s)) who shed a few sentimental tears.
Been there, done that maxed out
The ultimate reason for all the tribulations in dating Indian men? The inherent cultural superiority complex in every Indian, especially male!
Nuclear weapons? We had it in Ramayana days, just read the book. Cure for cancer? Sushrutha had it, you just need to rediscover it. Any metal to gold? Please! How do you think the Sri Padmanabhaswamy temple acquired so much gold? It makes Indian men opinionated and insufferable especially when they are trying to establish what a great catch they are.
Dating Indian Men: The Good
Hey, if you are trying to find out about dating Indian men, you probably are looking for more than a fling, you want to find the ONE. Even according to the oracle of the modern days, Wikipedia, dating is a social construct for finding a suitable partner for marriage.
It’s a whole new world
The difficulties in the path to self-sufficiency in a new country or new city where they have found employment, Women colleagues performing parallel roles in software jobs, Advertisement like the one from Ariel #ShareTheLoad are making Indian men sit up and realize they need to do more than be a couch warmer at home.
Well-heeled and respectful
The cache of Indian men is increasing in the western countries too, they tend to be well educated, well employed, and stick to the centuries-old tradition of living within their means. As for the curse of being a mama’s boy, if he is nice to his mom, he is going to be just as nice and respectful to your mom and as the days progress, no?
He will certainly be nice to you too when you are a mom and you are battling your son/daughter over the zillion issues that befall motherhood. Unlike your in-laws, he will not think you are a devil for disciplining your child.
Equality is the new macho
Aswini Asokan’s husband famously stayed home when their first child was born while she continued to climb up the ladder at Intel. Now, they are co-founders of Mad Street Den, an Artificial Intelligence startup in India. Men, even Indian men, are increasingly viewing women as equal partners. And it is about time too, this, after all, is the land of Ardhanareeswaran.
As for the macho, I will take care of you attitude, why not? A little tender, loving care is good for the soul. The rest can always be trained away!
Dating Indian men and reeling the right one in!
Let us get down to the basics here ladies. We are biologically nesters. At the end of the day, we are in this game to find our mate and build our nest. You are also reading this here, in the Jodi Logik blog, because you are want to settle down, with the one. There are three steps to reeling your ONE in:
Step 1: Studying your prey
Look beyond the obvious things like looks, education, social strata. Can he make you laugh? Can he admit to being wrong? Does he make your friends feel comfortable? If yes, it is time to his is study the prey.
Identify his likes and dislikes and if you don’t share any, learn about a handful of his likes. As bad as it sounds, this is not being manipulative, it is really just trying to look through the other person’s glasses. Besides, it is always good to learn new things, acquire new skills.
My aunt learned a little about cricket after she was married to my uncle, an avid fan, and a decent player. 40 years later, they still watch matches together with a shared understanding of the nuances of the game.
Study his friends, Identify the close ones and get to know them better. Men are very good at retaining friendships, it is possible that you will remain close decades from now. Identify his favorite movies, books and music. They may not match your tastes, but they will provide a deeper insight into his character.
Step 2: Prepare your bait
Now that you have studies your prey quite well, it is time to prepare the bait. Share him very generously with his friends, even hang out with his closest ones.
Show a nuanced understanding of his books and his movies. If all he likes is “Gravitational Waves” at least be prepared with Sadhguru’s response to the concept of time and space!
Definitely share your passions. It is ideal to establish your own individuality from the get go, not down the road. Go out with friends to the mall and do both, arcade games and shopping. Head out to beaches and places with adventure sports as a group.
Step 3: Reel them in
You thought I would talk about reeling in the guy, right? Reeling the guy is easy-peasy, it is the mother and other relatives who pose a challenge!
You want your future MIL to think you are the ideal catch for her darling baby, not just accept you as her son’s choice. For this one relative, subterfuge is OK. Every mom starts as the center of her son’s life. Slowly as the child gets older, she moves to the periphery of his life until at some point it feels like she has no connection with him at all!
Daughters realize mom’s worth better when they enter the same phase of life. It is just good Karma to please the future MIL. Besides, it earns you a lifetime of brownie points.
Meet the siblings and close cousins first, preferably amongst friends. They can help you figure out what she would like, dress sense food, and general behavior. Then, finally, meet her in a public setting as just a group of friends getting together for some real or concocted reason and wow her.
But first, get your head out of the clouds, and prepare for the tribulations of dating. After all, you will find the diamond only in the rough! Any sensible woman should do the following when going on a date for the first time.
1. Do anything that’s acceptable to you. Draw a clear line about what you will do or what you won’t and always stick to your guns.
2. Do dress attractively. Don’t dress provocatively.
3. Do have your cell phone with you on dates, charged and GPS on. don’t give your friends a running commentary during the date.
4. Don’t give your friends a running commentary during the date!
5. Do meet in public places, don’t meet in a bar.
6. Do be romantic, don’t indulge in public displays of affection.
7. Do go out with his friends, don’t go out with a group of just his male friends.
8. Be prepared for the vagaries of the weather and the volatile conditions in Indian cities, where a bandh might break out at any moment for any reason.
9. Always make sure someone knows where you are and how to get to you.
Dating sites in India, just like other western influences, is fast catching up in India. ‘Online dating’ was something quite unheard of even few years back. But today, it has become the ‘in’ thing. With everything going ‘online’ and ‘mobile’ nowadays, how could something like dating be left behind?
The young, tech-savvy men and women of India have easy access to smartphones, netbooks, and other such easy-to-carry gadgets and they are always ‘connected’ and looking to try new things through trendy apps. Dating sites in India are capitalizing on this trend and are booming!
Top 5 reasons why India is hooked to online dating
Here are five reasons that explain the phenomenal growth of dating sites in India.
The most significant reason for the burgeoning growth of online dating sites in India is the changing cultural mindset. A nation that took great pride in its traditional roots is suddenly witnessing a shift in its moral values and is becoming highly open to the concept of online dating. Needless to say, westernization has played a crucial role in the acceptance as well the popularization of digital dating in India.
2. Skyrocketing connectivity
The growing popularity of dating websites can be attributed to the increased technological advancement, mobile penetration, and digital communication in the recent years.
The exponential rise in the use of smartphones and increased exposure to the Internet has resulted in the youth connecting over networking sites and dating platforms.
The number of Internet users in India had climbed to 354 million as of June 2015. Also, the number of smartphones in India is expected to rise to over 650 million in the next four years.
3. International dating companies are eyeing India
The entry of international dating giants like Tinder in the Indian dating market mirrors the country’s growing acceptance of online dating. International online dating players like Zoosk, OKCupid, Hinge, POF, and eHarmony are also expected to enter the Indian market in the near future as the dating market hots up in India.
4. There are plenty of local online dating products
Recently, new Indian entrants like Truly Madly, Woo, Cogxio, Vee, and dateiiTians have forayed into this fast growing market further adding on to soaring popularity levels of the online dating sites in India.
Challenges women face when using dating sites India
Though online dating is becoming a popular concept in India, women still have to face many challenges as they dabble in online dating. Here are some of them.
1. Do you really know who you might be meeting?
Manipulation of personal data on online dating platforms is one of the biggest concerns for women. There is no guarantee that a man with whom a woman is interacting has shared genuine information pertaining to his identity.
There is no dearth of unscrupulous men running scams on dating websites. These men interact with women and once they have gained a sufficient level of trust, they demand money or start blackmailing using photos, or videos. Still others might divulge the woman’s personal details to undesirable people!
Indian women, despite all the waves of modern change, still retain a mindset that is culturally very much ‘Indian’. Blackmailing traps such as these tend to be a nightmarish experience for most women due to the fact that their family and even law enforcement tend to look down upon women who have been wronged!
2. Beware of stalkers and ‘players’
Stalkers, spammers, and verbal abuses abound on dating sites. Real life stalking is also a possibility and many women have had to face unsavory incidents of stalkers turning up on their doorstep.
A large number of men who sign up on online dating sites in India are not looking for a serious relationship. They are just looking for sexual partners. In this context, it is worthwhile to contemplate what Mauli Singh (35 years old), a divorcee from Mumbai says: “When I say I want marriage, most men disappear.”
There is a lot of offensive sexual content ranging from nude pictures to perverse videos doing the rounds on such sites. This is a serious turn off for the culturally rooted Indian woman who is on the lookout for a clean dating site.
3. You can always sign up but you can never leave!
After having explored the world of online dating for a while, if a woman wishes to exit, she may find that parting ways is pretty difficult. The removal of her account from the dating website doesn’t guarantee that her profile will be disabled. This might seem like a vicious trap to the lady and can cause her a lot of unnecessary frustration.
Raashi Kapoor (24 years) says: “I thought I took my profile off all the apps. But my friends still come across my profile and photographs. I still don’t know what to do.”
4. No means yes?
Men in India still have problems taking rejection in their stride. There are countless cases of acid attacks, kidnappings, and other forms of harrasment that goes beyond stalking. Bollywood also has driven home the point that if you try hard, every woman that says “no” will end up saying “yes”!
Features in Indian dating sites that appeal to women
In spite of all the challenges that women face in the online dating world, there is a lot to look forward to. Dating sites are attempting to offer features that will appeal to the Indian women’s unique cultural background and expectations. Here are a few examples of features in dating sites that appeal to women.
1. Curated dating experiences
Dating sites like Foot Loose No More and Floh offer women an opportunity to meet a curated set of people in the real world. These dating sites bring together couples at curated events so that the awkwardness quotient is less. For most Indian women, the issue of secrecy and of “parents not finding out” is important. These events offer a chance of interaction without the fear of getting discovered!
2. Stringent moderation checks and filters
Many Indian dating sites come with very strict moderation checks that keep filth, abuse, and spam away and thereby offering women a safe dating experience. For instance, Quackquack, a dating site launched in 2011, guarantees that all its site is free of fake profiles.
Footloose No More employs a special rule to filter out casual daters. The rule is simple; any member who misses 3 footloose events in a row will have his membership revoked thus weeding out men who are not looking out for a serious, committed relationship.
3. Countless options to pick from
Online dating gives women the chance of meeting a large number of single men; many of whom they would not have interacted with in real life. In a way, online dating broadens the chances of meeting potential mates so that a better selection can be made. Interestingly, dating sites in India report that a majority of their members are male. For example, Trulymadly reports that about 30% of its users are women. This automatically means that women have a larger number of dating options when they join these sites.
4. No obligation
Online dating is mostly obligation free; people who meet or chat through such sites can stop seeing each other and usually there are no questions or obligations attached to dating. This is a far cry from arranged marriages where there is a pressure to agree with the family! Dating sites are capitalizing on the growing clamor for independence and freedom when it comes to choosing a soulmate.
5. Tailored search features
Many online dating sites in India offer a vast range of tailored search options for users. For instance, sites like Metrodate and Mingle2 allows its members to set up preferences on the basis of gender, geographical location, age etc. and receive profiles that match their preferences.
6. Psychoanalytic profile matching facilitated
Several online dating sites match profiles based on psychoanalytic algorithms that are constructed by a team of psychiatrists and social researchers. The end result is a selection of matched profiles which have a higher chance of being liked by the other party than a random search result. Tulymadly claims to do just that.
If you are a woman, read this before you sign up for online dating in India
Here are some things which can help make the online dating experience safer and more effective for you:
1. You must prepare a list of criteria that you are looking out for in terms of online partners. Interact only with people who conform to those parameters.
2. Select the online dating site carefully based on your requirements. Are you looking for a serious relationship or do you just want to hook up?
3. Do not presume that online dating sites will tell you everything you want to know about the person you are meeting. This is not arranged marriage, and even with arranged marriages, you may not really ‘know’ the person you are meeting.
4. Matching algorithms are not necessarily 100% accurate.
5. Trust your instincts and withdraw if the person seems weird or seems to be lying.
Mixed feelings about dating sites in India
Online dating is fun!
The younger generation is amused with the idea of getting to know an individual they have never met before. In their opinion, the best part about online dating is that it gives you the liberty to be yourself since the person you are interacting with is an absolute stranger.
In this context, it is worthwhile to quote what Gaurav Gautam, a 27-years old PR Professional says:
“I think the concept is really good. It has not only bridged the gaps between potential couples but also provided a medium through which two strangers could get in touch and share their emotions.”
Online dating helps find true love!
Online dating has proved instrumental in uniting many hearts. Rani Kapur, a 25-year-old New York-based woman found her soul mate Khalil Ahmed through an online dating platform and this is what she has to say:
“This is actually my first serious relationship, and we’re at almost a year now. Things are great; I’m so happy. The one thing that is a bit of a problem is, funnily enough, although we’re both Indian, he’s Muslim, and my background is Sikh.”
Here is an interesting comment from a 24-year-old Mumbai-based woman, “I really do not have much time to socialize after a hectic day at work. So these apps are a good way to find like-minded people. However, after a couple of “horrible” experiences, I uninstalled these apps.”
Online dating lacks charm!
There are many people who feel that online dating somehow lacks the charm of meeting someone in person. They feel that there are hundreds of fake profiles on dating sites in India, which dilute the essence of dating. Many others feel that the body language and gestures tell you more about a person when you meet them time and again in real life as compared to an algorithm.
Most Indians still feel that it is better to connect with a person in real, especially if the aim is as serious as choosing a “life partner”.
“So I liked this guy. He was very good looking with a gym-toned body. He had also liked my profile so we were matched. We communicated over WhatsApp, finding out things about each other and then he suggested we meet. For the next few days, I was on cloud nine. I had this massive crush on him, but I called it off because I was not looking for one-night stands.”
Whether you use a dating site or not, it’s hard work to find the right someone and then to keep the relationship going!
Here is an interesting viewpoint: “I remember the first time I ever saw my first boyfriend: playing rhythm guitar on Metallica’s “Am I Evil” in his band, wearing a Nirvana shirt and black Chuck Taylors, head of longish blonde hair in headbanger’s stance, and I just knew. It made for a great “how we met” story for the seven years we were together … even if it didn’t last forever.”
Young men and women in Chennai are trying their luck through dating apps and there are plenty of apps to choose from. People relocating to Chennai from other cities as well as expats working for the many multinational companies may find things difficult when it comes to even choosing the right place to go on a date. Fear not, Chennai is packed with awesome places to go on a date. Here is why dating spots in Chennai are awesome!
People relocating to Chennai from other cities as well as expats working for the many multinational companies may find things difficult when it comes to even choosing the right place to go on a date. Fear not, Chennai is packed with awesome places to go on a date. Here is why dating spots in Chennai are awesome!
Fear not, Chennai is packed with awesome places to go on a date. Here is why dating spots in Chennai are awesome!
Here is why dating spots in Chennai are awesome!
Chennai is blessed with a coastline with acres of beaches!
Chennai’s warm weather makes it an ideal outdoor place.
Chennai has a long list of amusement parks and resorts that dot its coastline.
There is no dearth of restaurants and hangout spots no matter what your budget is.
There are truly unique towns and trendy places to check out in and around Chennai.
We have picked the 17 best dating spots in Chennai for a perfect date! Here is the list.
1. Theosophical Society
This is a great place if you are a nature lover. Lots of greenery and trees to “get lost” from the prying crowds! The drawback is that it is open only for limited hours during the day. Entry is free and you need to park somewhere outside. This place is by far the best among all the dating spots in Chennai if you can stay on top of when they keep the park open!
Binh Huynh / Flickr
Marina is the oldest and a well-known spot for cozying up with your love interest. The only disadvantage is that you can never get away from the hawkers selling “sundal” (steamed legumes with Indian spices and coconut). Be wary of the cultural police or sometimes cops out to enforce Indian traditions.
Elliot beach is supposed to be less crowded compared to Marina beach, this location has also caught up in terms of the number of visitors. A slightly upmarket crowd compared to Marina beach. Watch out for elderly couples and men looking out to enforce Indian traditions and culture.
3. Besant Nagar
R Shivaji Rao
Besant Nagar is a residential place adjoining the Elliot’s beach. There are plenty of restaurants catering to every budget. In addition, there are coffee shops and ice cream places if you would like to keep it simple on a first date. The advantage of Besant Nagar is that you can combine a visit to Elliot’s beach with a dinner date or just stroll along the tree-lined avenues. Some streets are more crowded than others. The funny thing is even in secluded streets, you will find security guards sitting outside the gates of the palatial homes they are supposed to be guarding!
DakshinaChitra is also located on the East Coast road adjoining the sea. This is a mini Disneyland for South Indian culture and lifestyle. You have replicas of different styles of homes from south India, art and even artists selling their wares. A great place to discover culture in a serene and calm surrounding! DakshinChitra will give you both plenty of opportunity to bond in the midst of exquisite art and architecture.
5. Amethyst Cafe
Chennai has its share of chic and trendy cafes that provide a great setting for a date. The Amethyst Cafe in the heart of the city is an oasis of greenery that not only serves food but also sells cool stuff from leading fashion designers in India. They even have a flower shop! This is an ideal place to take your date and spend a few hours forgetting the fact that you are in Chennai!
6. Cholamandal Artists Village
As the name suggests, this is an artist village also located not far from Dakshin Chitra. You will find plenty of artwork here and the entry fee is also practically free. There is free parking to boot. However, this place is heaven only for the art lover. If both of you are not into art, you will be in and out in a jiffy. A great place to show off your artistic knowledge.
How about some boating to get some alone time? Actually, you may not be all that alone as there will be other boats around you. But if you are adventurous, you can hire the aqua scooters and zip around the lake that is connected to the Bay of Bengal. A couple of hours at Muttukadu can get you hungry before you head out for lunch or dinner. Remember to avoid boating during the hot summer.
8. Pulicat Lake
This is the second largest brackish water lake in India and has a bird sanctuary. Get yourself a pair of binoculars if you would like to watch birds! Make sure you pack some food and water as there aren’t any restaurants in this area. You can hire a boat from the local fishermen and enjoy the sunset while enjoying the boat ride.
9. Surfing Lessons in Covelong
There is no better way to break the ice and know your date intimately by taking up a challenging task together. There are a couple of surf schools in Covelong (a short drive from Chennai) that offer short courses for beginners as well as advanced multi-day courses. They are not cheap (upwards of Rs.1000) but is well worth the time! Check out their websites – here and here.
“Stone Carvings at Mahabalipuram” by Gowrishanker – Own work.
The legendary Fisherman’s Cove is not for the budget-minded couple! If you have deep pockets, then look no further than the Fisherman’s Cove. There are world-class restaurants that serve you amazing food on the beach and to top it all, there are live shows. Because this is a private resort, you will have acres of clean beach all for yourself.
12. Sport Fishing
Via Barracuda Bay
Sport fishing is a great option for an exciting and adventurous date! There are a couple of companies that offer sport fishing trips. They have modern boats and all the accessories you will need and they will also arrange light snacks for you on the high seas if you book in advance. You can book 2-hour or even 8-hour trips depending on how serious you are with fishing. A 2-hour boat ride and fishing should be good enough for a date though. Beware of sea sickness! If you are both adventurous, sport fishing in Chennai is a must! Among the best dating spots in Chennai if you enjoy the adrenaline rush.
13. St. Thomas Mount
This is a great place for a date if the two of you have tucked in a heavy meal at a restaurant and you want to continue the date and at the same time burn some calories! Located close to the airport, St Thomas Mount has a church on top. You can take the stairs for a nice workout and once you get up the hill soak in the views of Chennai or enjoy the beautiful sunset! You should count St. Thomas Mount among the best dating spots in Chennai if all you want is a heart to heart conversation.
14. Egmore Museum
The Egmore Museum is at the heart of the city and is a great place to get away from the crowds! During the weekday, you will have plenty of privacy to admire art and also get to know your date. The entry fee is next to nothing. Avoid going there on hot days as the air conditioning at the museum is not up to the job! The Egmore museum will count among the best dating spots in Chennai as it is close to a huge selection of restaurants at a walkable distance in case you have to take a break.
15. Anna Zoological Park
“VandalurZoo 18Aug2012 EntranceFountain” by Rasnaboy
This is closer to Tambaram, a suburb along the Grand Trunk Road which is a National Highway that takes you to South Tamil Nadu. You will have plenty of space to walk around the zoo or even hire rickety bicycles to check out the vast zoo. If you ignore the rather poor facilities (read clean toilets and lack of proper restaurants), it’s a great place to talk and get to know someone. The entry fee is affordable (Rs.30 per person) and you will be asked to pay Rs.25 if you are carrying a camera or a mobile phone that has a camera.
16. Amusement Parks
There are plenty of amusement parks in Chennai along the coast as well as along the Chennai – Bangalore highway. They are not comparable to the Disney Worlds or Universal Kingdoms of the world. However, they provide a convenient place to just chill out, spend some quality time together, and if you are done talking, enjoy some of the rides. Queens Land, VGP Universal Kingdom, MGM Dizee World, and Kishkinta are some of the popular amusement parks. The entry fee could range from upwards of Rs.200 per person.
17. Malls and Multiplexes
Interestingly, Chennai was once the retail capital of India and still continues to be a leading center for retail businesses. The mall culture came to Chennai way back in the 1990s with the Spencer Plaza opening its door. While Spencer Plaza now resembles an abandoned relic, the mall culture in Chennai has gained a lot of traction with mega malls like Express Avenue and Phoenix Market City. These malls boast international restaurant chains and world class multiplexes and are by far the most pleasant dating spots in Chennai with air-conditioned comfort! Not a bad idea if you have a date during the weekday.
Do you have suggestions on dating spots in Chennai? Share it in the comments section below!
Dating Indian women remain one of the great unsolved mysteries of the world! If you are an Indian man or just someone that fancies an Indian woman, you have a treacherous path ahead of you if you are blind to India’s cultural background, societal pressures, and the chaos caused by the confluence of age-old traditions and modern fads.
If you are an Indian man or just someone that fancies dating Indian women, you have a treacherous path ahead of you if you are blind to India’s cultural background, societal pressures, and the chaos caused by the confluence of age-old traditions and modern fads.
Dating is a relatively new concept in India but it has caught on like wildfire. Recently, Tinder announced its India operations. Here is what the head of Tinder’s Indian business, Taru Kapoor, had to say about the dating market in India
India is already the second-largest market for Facebook. It is among the top three markets for most global social networks or, is at least, getting there. The number of young people coming online especially on the mobile phone for the first time is gigantic.
Suddenly, the forces of modernity are unleashing immense possibilities for desperate Indian men that want to interact with Indian women without the sword of marriage dangling on their heads. However, there are several challenges that men face when dating women in India. Here are a few.
1. Parents want to know every move their daughters make.
2. Dating apps have a creepiness factor for Indian women.
3. Enforcers of “Indian moral values” can show up anytime to enforce ‘decency’
4, There are limited public spaces to approach a woman in India.
5. A deeply conservative society that considers dating as an alien idea.
Unless and until men have a nuanced understanding of these factors, they will find dating Indian women to be a miserable experience.
Tips on approaching Indian women for dating
Here are the 15 tips every Indian man with hopes of dating Indian women should know about.
1. Do pickup lines work in India?
There is no ‘official data’ on whether pickup lines work in India! The general wisdom we have gleaned after scouring the Internet is that there is a very slim chance of pickup lines working in India unless you are a celebrity! So ditch the pickup lines. You can certainly approach random women in India, but make sure she is with her friends or alone in a public setting such as a mall. Any other scenario can get you into trouble.
2. Earn their trust
The best bet for you to ask an Indian woman for a date would be to pick one from your network of friends. In other words, if you have met her before in a casual social setting (such as when you are with your friends), it becomes easier to ask a woman out for a date. This approach will work better as you are a known “devil” and not some random guy that popped up all of a sudden. Women in India are harassed a lot by random men in public spaces and are prone to looking at your moves with suspicion.
Here is a useful tip from an Indian woman.
3. Sign up with dating sites
If you are someone that doesn’t have a friends network or all alone is a big city, fear not. Sign up with Indian dating sites to try your luck. Dating sites have seen a lot of traction in the market in the last couple of years and there are apps like Tinder, Woo, TrulyMadly, iCrushiFlush, Vee to name a few. Tinder alone has over 7.5 Million swipes in India every day!
4. Focus on shared interests
Here is an approach that will work for you provided you are willing to put in the effort. Just do what you do with passion and try to find similar groups of people that love what you do! Here is an example, if you love volunteering for a social cause, join a group that does just that. Who knows you may find a date or even your soulmate. There is even a site that tells you how you can find someone to date on Twitter by just doing your thing!
5. Get used to rejection
Here is a comprehensive article from Psychology Today to help you handle dating rejections! You should bookmark this page and we have good reasons for it.
The sex ratio in India is messed up completely. The average sex ratio in India is 908 females for every 1000 males. Indian men are at a disadvantage and have to ‘compete’ with other men for the limited group of eligible females. Invariably, if you are approaching women in India for dating, you will be rejected a lot. Just don’t give up hope and keep trying! The same is true with dating sites in India where the acceptance rate for Indian men is very low.
6. Dealing with Indian parents
Indian parents are involved in their children’s lives till they die! There is a reason why Indians still have joint families and married couples live with the parents (usually the man’s parents). They want to keep tabs on every move their daughter makes. Their concern is justified because of the harassment that women in India have to deal with in public spaces.
When you are dating someone, you are bound to meet the woman’s parents and they WILL evaluate you as a prospective son-in-law even if you have had only a few dates. Our recommendation will be to avoid meeting the parents till you know the relationship has a future.
7. Dealing with the moral brigade
Jayanta Shaw / Reuters
The ‘moral brigade’ is everywhere in India. It could just be an overzealous samaritan or a bunch of goons from a local political party that wants to enforce its version of Indian culture!
Every year, Valentine’s Day in India generates a lot of news stories of goons forcibly separating couples or even thrashing them. Zelous cops also get into the act even in big cities like the recent raid on a hotel that had become a go-to place for couples looking for a private space! Just be aware of what’s happening around you and avoid taking your date to places known as couple’s hangout spots.
8. Stigma associated with dating Indian women
Unlike western countries, where even underaged kids go on a date and have prom dances at school, there is no concept of casual relationships in India. Dating Indian women is challenging because once a woman is seen in the company of a man, she is considered to be impure and not an ideal material for marriage!
Even a casual meeting can get tongues wagging! This attitude creates a mental barrier in the minds of women when it comes to dating. You will often find that women cover their faces even when they are with their boyfriends!
9. What is your intention?
Make sure you know your own intentions before dating. If you just want to have a casual relationship or even a short term fling, apps like Tinder work well. However, if you are interested in a long term relationship that will culminate in a marriage, you need to look at other apps or look within your network to find someone who can appreciate your personality and shares a chemistry. It’s OK not to have ‘commitment’ in your mind when you are dating Indian women. But, make sure she knows your intent.
10. PDA or not?
India doesn’t like a public display of affection (PDA) and this is true even in big cities. However, chances are you will get away with PDA in a big city while it is a big issue in a small town or a village.
The law regarding obscene behaviour in India also states that the ‘community standards‘ should be taken into consideration to determine if the act is obscene or not. But no one really defined community standard and it varies from place to place! To be on the safe side, no PDA when dating women in India.
11. Sense of humour
Women love men with a sense of humour. Just look around. The most popular guy in a class is someone with a great sense of humour. It’s true in all walks of life. Scientific studies have shown that men with a great sense of humour also demonstrate greater intelligence and hence attract women! Here is an interesting article that lists 10 tips to help you attract women with humour.
12. Conversational skills
Men who have the guts and the charm to ask women out for a date fall flat when it comes to conversational skills. It’s just not conversational skills alone, it’s the ability to connect and communicate with women that seem to be missing in men. Dr. Tom Stevens of California State University has published a comprehensive guide on this topic if you would like to improve your conversational skills for dating.
13. Get rid of these habits
If you have to impress an Indian woman on the first date, make sure you get rid of these habits:
– Use a deodorant, but don’t take a bath with your cologne.
– Don’t bite your nails.
– Don’t dig your nose or your ears.
– Don’t stare at the woman’s breasts.
Sometimes, all you need is common sense to be successful in relationships.
14. Choosing the right places
Make sure you pick a nice place, free from prying eyes, to go on a date. Having loads of money to afford fancy restaurants will be a definite advantage. However, you can also think of unconventional places that couples typically give a miss. For example, consider going to a bookstore where the two of you can bond over books, or maybe join a fitness club or even a cooking class.
The idea here is to not be one among the hundreds of secretive couples in parks and beaches and worry about who is going to bump into the two of you together.
15. Lose your desperation
Desperate men are a big turn-off for Indian women. If you are an Indian woman, you will find men of all sizes and shapes doing their best to catch your attention. Most of them will ogle at you, some of them will try to grope you and many of them think that you deserve to be raped because you came out after dark!
That’s not all, Indian women have to deal with out of the blue, Facebook friend requests from men that they have never met in their lives! Don’t show your desperation when you are dating Indian women. Take it easy and let the relationship develop naturally.
What about Indian women dating white men?
If you are a white male looking to date an Indian woman, things can get really strange depending on where you live. In India though, you are in demand!
Meeting Indian women through dating sites in India such as Tinder is apparently easy.
As early as in 2011, Times of India reported that more and more women in Bangalore seem to be dating and marrying caucasian men. Here is a snippet from the article.
Entrepreneur Payal Shah, who is married to an Irishman, says, “I knew my husband even before we began dating. We dated for three years before we got married four years ago,” says Payal.
And how different is her husband from anybody here? Payal replies, “Western men are more open. Indian men can get very picky about the gender roles in the Indian milieu and often expect their wives and girlfriends to toe the line.”
In fact, this GQ article in 2015 also reflected a white bias among Indian women on Tinder. The article is a first-hand account of a caucasian who created a Tinder profile and never had any trouble finding Indian women looking for white men.
So if you are a white man who chooses to meet Indian women looking for a date, you are in luck!
Did you like this article? Please like and share it!
People do extraordinary things to find their perfect match. Some of us become serial daters or reject marriage proposals as we are looking for that perfect match who never shows up.
Remember George Clooney who is currently married to Amal Alamuddin? Here is a list of women he dated before Amal.
Dedee Pfeiffer, Kelly Preston, Talia Balsam, Kimberly Russell, Karen Duffy, Celine Balitran, Lucy Liu, Charlize Theron, Renée Zellweger, Krista Allen, Lisa Snowden, Sarah Larson, Elisabetta Canalis, Stacey Keibler. Phew, that’s a long list of women!
Phew, that’s a long list of women!
Few others believe they are so special and unique that they can find their perfect match only by looking for someone who has their same interests and passions. Believe it or not, there is a dating site just for people that believe in supernatural things and ghosts!
That’s not all. Some of us end up wearing all kinds of trinkets and amulets based on the recommendations of your parent’s favorite God-man and hope that the amazing powers radiating from magical stones will make you find your soulmate.
Talking of strange customs, raise your hand if you are a “Manglik” (If you actually raised your lands, sorry, we don’t have eyes everywhere and we can’t see you). Mangliks are thought to be cursed and are destined to cause a premature death of their future husband. So what’s the solution, just marry a tree first and then sign up for one of the specialized matrimony sites available just for any supernatural ailment you may have.
And let’s not forget the harassed young men and women of India who are well past the “ideal age for marriage” and cursed due to the wrath of Gods. It’s very easy to spot them in your neighborhood temples. They are the ones decked up in pious religious markings all over their bodies, probably wearing a garland (if they are in a Temple), running around performing “special” rituals that invariably involve a fat fee for the priest.
A mathematician’s equation for a perfect match!
Dr. Hannah Fry is no ordinary mathematician. She works with physicists, geographers, architects and computer scientists to find patterns in human behavior for applications in traffic management, crime, shopping, terrorism and of course, finding your perfect match. She wrote a book titled “The Mathematics Of Love” based on the speech she gave at TEDx.
Hannah also is a star of a couple of documentaries series that appears on British TV.
“Calculating Ada: The Countess Of Numbers” is a show hosted by Hannah about Ada Lovelace, a 19th-century mathematician who foretold the age of computers. In the second documentary, “Climate Change By Numbers“, Hannah cuts through the clutter to talk about important factors that impact climate change.
You can listen to her entire TEDx speech here or check out our spin below.
Finding aliens is not different from finding your perfect match
Of all of the available women in the U.K.,all Peter’s looking for is somebody who lives near him,somebody in the right age range,somebody with a university degree,somebody he’s likely to get on well with,somebody who’s likely to be attractive,somebody who’s likely to find him attractive.And comes up with an estimate of 26 women in the whole of the UK.Now, just to put that into perspective,that’s about 400 times fewer than the best estimatesof how many intelligent extraterrestrial life forms there are.And it also gives Peter a 1 in 285,000 chanceof bumping into any one of these special ladieson a given night out.I’d like to think that’s why mathematiciansdon’t really bother going on nights out anymore.
As you can see applying the Drake’s equation is quite discouraging to young men and women. In case you are actually interested in applying the Drake’s equation to calculate the odds of finding your perfect match, here is an explanation of how the equation works.
If you think you are not ready to give up your quest to find your perfect match just based on one mathematical equation, read on.
Maths can unearth patterns to help you find your perfect match
Hannah is an optimist. She is an expert in finding patterns and she thinks she can crack most problems on this earth by applying her mathematical skills.
Hannah uses maths to predict outcomes and study weather patterns, the growth of cities, stock market fluctuations and many other concepts that look confusing for ordinary folks. It appears there is always a method to the madness around us.
Like weather and stock market, love is also unpredictable as it is driven by human emotions and Hannah believes she can apply her mathematical wizardry and techniques to identify patterns. In fact, she has already done this and offers three mathematically proven tips to help maximize our chances of finding your perfect match.
#1: Find out who is your perfect match on dating sites
For the sake of Indians reading this blog (we think it’s mostly Indians), you can replace “online dating” with “online matrimony” if you are going through arranged marriage. Hannah explains a brilliant concept that a popular US-based dating site OKCupid unearthed based on user behavior on their site. Here is what we learn from OKCupid.
If you are a woman, you will get more messages if you end up creating extreme reactions among men. In other words, when looking at your online profile, if a group of men thinks you are beautiful and another group of men thinks you are unattractive, you have a greater chance of getting more responses. If you are a classic beauty and most men think you are either super attractive or cute, the chances of you getting a response comes down!
Here is an example of a couple of movie stars and how men may react to seeing their photographs. Sonakshi Sinha is considered beautiful by all of us here at Jodi Logik. But, there have been many instances when people have called her ugly.
Here is a recent Twitter exchange Sonakshi had with someone who called her ugly. Someone asked her why she is ugly and she had the perfect response 🙂
As you can see below Sonakshi Sinha can bring out extreme reactions.
Let’s take Deepika. You will be hard pressed to find anyone calling Deepika ugly. There is a unanimous agreement that she is an angel and a stunning beauty.
But, if you are a man and you came across Deepika’s profile in an online matrimony site (that’s more unlikely that Peter Backus finding a girlfriend in his lifetime), who would you choose? You are most likely to choose Sonakshi because you are probably intimidated by Deepika!
This seems very counter-intuitive. But here is how OKCupid explains this concept.
Just imagine that you are a man looking for your perfect match online. As you can see in the image below, if you think there are flaws in the woman that you are checking out online, you may end up assuming that your chances of meeting the woman are probably higher and based on this assumption you are more likely to express your interest.
Play up your perceived differences or quirks instead of hiding them! A big forehead that you have been trying to mask all your life can actually help land more responses from men!
Check out this passionate love calculator to find out if you have strong feelings towards someone you may have met. Click here to take the test.
Tip #2: How to choose your perfect match?
Let’s say you embraced Hannah’s tip#1 and became very successful in attracting a swarm of men that expressed interest in your online profile. Now, you have another major headache to deal with. How the hell will you pick the perfect partner from the various people you end up meeting?
Hannah turns to math once again. This time, it is the Optimal Stopping Theory. Here is how she explains this concept when comes to choosing your perfect partner.
So let’s imagine then,that you start dating when you’re 15and ideally, you’d like to be married by the time that you’re 35.And there’s a number of peoplethat you could potentially date across your lifetime,and they’ll be at varying levels of goodness.Now the rules are that once you cash in and get married,you can’t look ahead to see what you could have had,and equally, you can’t go back and change your mind.
So the math says then that what you should doin the first 37 percent of your dating window,you should just reject everybody as serious marriage potential.And then, you should pick the next person that comes alongthat is better than everybody that you’ve seen before.
However, this approach also has its drawbacks. What happens when you keep rejecting people for the sake of rejecting them and you end up dismissing your perfect match during your first 37 percent?
Another issue is what happens if your perfect match never comes along after you are done rejecting and you are ready to marry someone?
But wait, human being are prewired to use this approach all along! When you look at how people date or even choose partners through arranged marriage, a vast majority of them don’t end up settling with the first person that shows interest. They try to look at several options and only when they believe they have seen it all, we will probably consider choosing someone for good. This only shows that mathematics is not science fiction. It is in fact based on patterns that we see all around us.
In summary, don’t say yes to the first person that comes along. You are likely to find your perfect match only after you have had a chance to review some options. Most likely after you are done checking out 37% of your potential matches 🙂
Wondering how to find your perfect match for marriage? We uncover the art and science behind finding your soulmate. Read this awesome blog post!
Tip #3: How do you stay married to your perfect match?
Once you have found your perfect match, the next logical question is what should you do keep your perfect match for life and not end up an innocent divorcee!
So how can a seemingly complicated issue i.e. the marital relationships be predicted or even have a pattern? This is the first question any married individual will ask. Actually, scientific research has an answer according to Hannah.
Psychologist, John Gottman, observed hundreds of couples having a conversationand recorded, well, everything you can think of.So he recorded what was said in the conversation,he recorded their skin conductivity,he recorded their facial expressions,their heart rates, their blood pressure,basically everything.ottman and his team foundwas that one of the most important predictorsfor whether or not a couple is going to get divorcedwas how positive or negative each partner was being in the conversation.
Gottman and his team predicted whether a couple was going to get divorced with a 90% accuracy. he found that couples that got into a spiral of negativity usually ended up separating eventually. Gottman then teamed up with a mathematical, James Murray, to create mathematical equations that predicted how the wife or husband is going to respond based on their observed behavior data.
These mathematical equations depend onthe mood of the person under three circumstances
a. When they are on their own,
b. When they are with their partner
c. How much the husband and wife influence one another, also called as the “negative threshold“.
Assuming you have read and understood what a negative threshold means in your marriage, based on common sense, what do you think should be the negative threshold for a successful marriage?
If you have answered, “that’s simple, the negative threshold should be high”, you are probably among the majority of readers who agreed with you. But, you are wrong.
Let’s go back to what Hannah has to say on this inverse logic that says, “you should not tolerate too much nonsense”.
Actually, the mathematics and subsequent findings by the teamhave shown the exact opposite is true.The best couples, or the most successful couples,are the ones with a really low negativity threshold.These are the couples that don’t let anything go unnoticedand allow each other some room to complain.These are the couples that are continually trying to repair their own relationship,that have a much more positive outlook on their marriage.Couples that don’t let things goand couples that don’t let trivial things end up being a really big deal.
Ladies and gentlemen, the best approach to ensuring a long-term marriage will be to provide room for expressing complaints freely and approach such complaints with a positive frame of mind. In addition, It is imperative not to blow up trivial things into major issues.
Bollywood horror movies don’t seem to come anywhere close to the horrors depicted in Hollywood horror flicks or psychological thrillers. Recently, newspapers reported that an elderly gentleman died at a movie theater in South India that was showing Conjuring 2!
In the 1980s and 90s, Bollywood horror movies relied on poor makeup, bad acting, and bad scripts to churn out hilarious horror movies that nobody actually watched.
However, we have seen the emergence of Bollywood horror movies that gives us the right combination of horror in a romantic setting! The plots are getting intelligent, A-grade actors don’t seem to mind taking the risk of acting in horror movies, and special effects are a lot better.
What better was to cuddle up with your partner on a romantic Halloween date night than to watch Bollywood horror movies? We have lined up 8 Bollywood horror movies that will certainly make you want to run for the daylight in a crowded place.
Just make sure you switch off the lights and cuddle up next to your loved one before you read this post.
1. Talaash – A complex love story of a cop and a dead prostitute.
Talaash is a complex movie that doesn’t dish out gory antics and refrains from the sudden shocks that you can expect from a horror film. This is more of a thinking man’s supernatural thriller and takes you on an emotional journey of a cop grieving the death of his young son in an accident and investigating a mysterious car crash.
2. Pisaasu – A supernatural love story of a violinist and a teenage girl
Pisaasu is a Tamil supernatural drama film that is perfectly paced with stunning music and a thought-provoking plot. This is a typical film where an upcoming violinist comes across an accident of a teenage girl and is traumatized by the whole episode. He then realizes that the spirit is trying to help him find the girl’s murderers.
3. Ek Thi Daayan – A supernatural love story that focuses on black magic
Ek Thi Daayan tells the story of a top magician whose life falls apart because of his dead little sister. He is forced to seek psychiatric help because of hallucinations. Towards the end, when asked if everything that happened was magic or witchcraft, the magician realizes that everyone has a little of both good and bad, but they themselves have to choose which side they are on.
4. Murder 3 – A psychological thriller and a love story
Murder 3 is a thriller that deconstructs love, and questions its very existence in the world of today’s relationship crimes. A fashion photographer who is dumped by his girlfriend forges a new relationship with a barmaid. The ex-girlfriend who disappeared without a trace returns to hound the lovers.
5. Bhoot – a supernatural horror love story of a possessed wife
Bhoot is a horror story of a couple who move into an apartment where the previous tenant committed suicide. It leaves the wife possessed by a ghost. The husband disbelieves the notions of ghosts and bad luck, but strange things happen that rudely challenges his skepticism.
6. Mahal – One of the great romantic Bollywood horror movies!
The movie was a groundbreaking thriller and one of the earliest known films dealing with reincarnation. It paved the way for Indian gothic fiction.
7. 1920 – A well-made romantic horror movie
What do you get when you combine an old, a large mansion, an atheist who takes up an assignment to convert the mansion into a hotel, and the love of his life who he marries against the wishes of his family? You probably have a cliched horror / love story.
Surprisingly, 1920 comes up trumps in the special effects department and the sheer artistic touches in every frame of the movie! One of the Bollywood horror movies where the producers have left no stone unturned to churn out a good quality film.
8. Raaz – A thriller with chemistry
Raaz is the first in the trilogy of three horror movie series. It is based on the story of a couple trying to save their failing marriage. However, the wife is haunted by a spirit who reveals some dark secrets about her husband and his past. Raaz was the highest grossing film among Bollywood horror movies in 2002 and has spawned two other sequels with the fourth one on its way! Watch it for Bipasha!
9. Raaz 3 – A sinister love story of a movie starlet using black magic
Raaz 3 is a hit movie that revolves around black magic, and it tells the story of how a starlet at the top of her game is challenged by a younger actress. She resorts to black magic to bring down her competitor. Raaz delivers the message that people forget everything and run behind fame – however, the only thing that remains is love, not for ourselves but others around us.
10. Ragini MMS – A sensuous paranormal film
Ragini MMS is a Hindi horror film, partly based on the real story of a Delhi girl named Deepika. Out to relax and have fun at a farmhouse, Deepika and her boyfriend experience horror at the hands of an unknown entity. In a songless film (a rarity among Bollywood horror movies), the background music has been used effectively to create the right atmosphere. Warning! The film mostly relies on its sexual stuff more than the horror!
11. 13B – A psychological horror film
Bollywood horror movies are rarely bilingual and 13B is a Tamil-Hindi film that narrates a series of unfortunate incidents that haunt a man who moves into a new apartment on the 13th floor. When the man’s family gets hooked to a TV serial – the events of which are similar to his own, he unearths a secret that haunts his family. You will look at television in a different way!
12. Phoonk – Superstition and black magic horror
A happily married atheist construction engineer who does not believe in evil spirits comes face to face with evil spirits at his home. It forces him to change his point of view. This movie was a low budget horror movie but had a surprising run at the box office. In fact, there was a Rs.5 Lakh Rupee reward for anyone who can watch the movie alone in a movie theater.
13. Kohra – More spirits to chill the air!
Kohra is a thriller horror film that narrates the story of a couple. The wife moves into a mansion after marriage (which is a staple requirement in Bollywood horror movies). She learns of her husband’s ex-wife is roaming the mansion long after she died. This film is adapted from Daphne du Maurier’s novel “Rebecca”.
14. Bees Saal Baad – A Bollywood classic
Bees Saal Baad is a drama-thriller film that is based on the story of a man who returns to his hometown, only to be warned to stay away due to a vengeful spirit responsible for killing his ancestors. But he decides to investigate the matter and hires a private detective. The man must decide whether to stay away from his new residence or continue to live there and fear for his life every day.
This film ignited the huge popularity of horror-gene films in the following years and is considered to be among the pioneering Bollywood horror movies.
15. Bhool Bhulaiyaa – Another horror-comedy
Bhool Bhulaiyaa is a thriller horror about an NRI and his wife who decide to stay in his ancestral home, paying no heed to the warning about ghosts. Soon, inexplicable occurrences cause him to call a psychiatrist to help solve the mystery. This movie is based on a hit Malayalam movie and was also remade in Tamil starring Rajnikanth! You should definitely watch this movie for the plot.
16. Shaapit – A horror film about cursed daughters!
Shaapit is a horror film based on the story of a couple who are in love with each other but cannot get married due to a family curse. They approach a professor to seek a solution. The movie high points are the music and the creepy atmosphere. Fans loved it when watching this movie in empty theaters!
17. Haunted – India’s first 3D horror film
The Haunted movie uses the illusion of depth with the modern 3D technology in every frame. It narrates the story of a man who disregards tales about his haunted house and proceeds to Shimla to prepare it for sale. Realizing the stories are true, he is taken back 75 years to the year 1936 by a rag-picker, hoping to rewrite history. Certainly full marks for this new spin on 2D Bollywood horror movies.
18. Darna Mana Hai – A pathbreaking horror anthology
Darna Mana Hai is based on the story of six friends who narrate spooky tales to one another interspersed with the supernatural and horror elements when their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. They do not realize there is another story waiting to be unraveled! Considered to be a cult classic among Bollywood Horror movies, Darna Mana Hai was a huge hit in 2003. Must watch.
19. Veerana – B Grade horror with lots of colored gel!
Veerana is a B-grade horror movie that narrates the story of a young, beautiful girl who is unfortunately possessed by a vengeful spirit. She wanders around lonely places to seduce and kill people, thus gradually becoming lost into a dark world of revenge and lust.
Produced by the Ramsay Brothers, known for their penchant for low-budget, sexy Bollywood horror movies, Veerana is surprisingly gripping and entertaining!
20. Horror Story – a haunted hotel
Horror Story is a horror movie based on Stephen King’s short story 1408 that revolves around a few friends who have come together to bid farewell to another friend who is going abroad for higher studies. They decide to spend the night in a haunted hotel, which turns out to be the biggest mistake ever. Only one traumatized survivor made it out of the hotel!
21. Bhoot Bungla – A Bollywood horror comedy
Bhoot Bungla is a comic thriller in which a heiress’s father and uncle die under mysterious circumstances. She investigates the link between the murders and the ghosts haunting her house. The success of this film was due to good quality music! Who said Bollywood horror movies should always be scary?