Wondering how to express Interest in a matrimony site?
If you are sweating buckets wondering how to express interest in a girl or boy you may come across in a matrimony site, welcome the club of nervous Indians!
Approaching a girl in a matrimony site or expressing interest for marriage can be a nerve-wracking experience for some of us. There are three simple reasons:
1. Indian men and women don’t have any experience in openly mingling with the other sex in search of love. That’s one of the reasons why dating is still an emerging concept in India and arranged marriages continue to be popular among the masses.2. Approaching a girl or a boy requires confidence, experience, and cultural acceptance. Cultural acceptance is out of the question in most strata of the Indian society and in all other cases, confidence and experience may be lacking!
We reviewed some of the popular matrimony sites in India and discovered something very surprising! It’s actually very easy to express interest. Here is you send interest in Bharat Matrimony.
STEP 1: Look for the YES button and click on it.
STEP 2: You get a confirmation message that your express interest message has gone through. It’s almost as easy as swiping right on Tinder!
If expressing interest with someone you find on matrimony sites is so easy, what makes it so difficult?
The answer is simple.
Once you are done expressing interest by clicking on a button, the next step might actually involve sending a message or exchanging several messages before getting on the phone to talk!
Sending messages or talking on to someone who you think might be a good match for marriage can be awkward.
We put together 17 different ways to a matrimonial proposal message or express interest in matrimony sites. You could use this to send the message or have a phone chat with a prospective match for the first time.
Express Interest – Formal
Here are a few examples of formal messages to express interest. These examples were written from the perspective of a man expressing interest in the profile of a woman found in a matrimony site.
Boy writing to a girl
1. Hello Ranjana, I stumbled on your matrimonial profile and I believe your profile might be suitable for me. I am a 30-year-old software professional based out of New Delhi and I signed up with Shadi only a few weeks ago. I really liked the fact that you believe in traditional Indian values and yet don’t mind embracing a modern lifestyle. Please review my profile and let me know if you are interested.
2. I am a 28-year-old Mechanical Engineer. I am based out of Chennai and come from an upper middle-class family. I am looking for a smart, career oriented woman with a good family background. I find that your profile meets my expectations and will be delighted if you can review my profile and get back to me with a response.
3. Vanitha, I reviewed your profile and wanted to set up a time to talk to you if you believe my profile is suitable for me. My father had created my profile last year and I will be happy to provide more information or answer any questions you may have before we move to the next step. Best Regards, Ravi.
Gender neutral express interest sample
4. I reviewed your profile and I think we might have a lot of compatible expectations. Please review my profile and let me know if you believe it would be worthwhile to have a phone conversation. I am based out of New York and I am usually available to talk during your mornings after 7 am. Look forward to hearing from you.
Do you want to create a compelling biodata for marriage? Read our in-depth guides on creating a biodata for marriage. Click here to download the guides.
Express Interest – Casual
Girl writing to a boy
5. Hey Raman, Good morning! I found your profile to be interesting and I would love to have a phone conversation with you. I am a down to earth person, professionally successful, well-educated woman, living in New Delhi. I am looking for someone with your background and look forward to talking to you. Drop me a line if you are interested.
6. Hi Vinod, I must admit, I was surprised to see your profile. In a sea of profiles created by parents, your profile stands out for sure. I am also one of the few people who believe in taking charge of the bridegroom hunt and not just be a passive participant. I am suspecting our thinking probably aligns well and I will be happy to talk to you to explore further. Ping me if you are interested.
7. Srinivas, It appears we seem to have over 95% match in terms of preferences and your photo keeps popping up every time I log into Bharatmatrimony! So I thought why not find out more about you and hence this message. Please take a loot at my profile and send me a note if you would like to talk further.
Boy writing to a girl
8. Hi Elizabeth, I checked out your profile and I am thoroughly impressed with your background. I am a born again Christian and also belong to the Catholic church. I am based out of Cochin and I am working as a Senior Manager at the Cochin Shipyard. I love playing the guitar and share the same love for gospel music you have listed in your interests. Do send me a note. God bless.
Express Interest – Humorous
When you express interest in matrimony sites, you don’t have to always be formal or serious. Especially, if you are writing to someone who has an informal profile description and has created the profile himself or herself, a humorous message will definitely get you a response.
Girl writing to a boy
9. Hi Rajesh, I am not sure if you have noticed, sending messages to random people on matrimony sites is more exciting than playing Russian roulette! I think I am feeling lucky when sending this message. Do write to me if you believe we are made for each other by just looking at my profile!
Gender neutral express interest sample
10. Signing up for a matrimony site was the last thing I hoped to do in my life. But the saleswoman from Jeevansathi was persuasive! Here I am writing to you wondering if I was actually taken for a ride with the 3-month e-value plan. But who knows what destiny is in store for us and I will be delighted to hear from you!
Boy writing to a girl
11. Hi there Sunitha, What’s it like in New Delhi? I am a thousand miles away, but your profile photo looks so pretty! I hope you find me handsome too and read about me and my illustrious family. I believe there is nothing that can stop you from writing back to me and look forward to hearing from you with hope. Of course, there could be just one villain in our story and that’s the horoscope!
12. Hello Taru, My parents always wanted me to marry someone who is conservative, religious, and willing to stay at home after marriage to take care of them! Being a dutiful son, I chose to ignore everything they asked me to do and I am writing to you. I love the fact that you have a modern outlook on life and focussed on your professional career. If you think I can make your shortlist, we will deal with my parents later! I was just kidding about my parents. Please write to me after reviewing my profile.
We created sample profile descriptions for modern Indians. Read these samples to improve your own profile! Click here to read the samples.
Express Interest to Parents or Siblings
Credit: India Picture / Shutterstock
As most matrimony profiles in traditional matrimony sites are written by a parent or a sibling, here are some sample messages that might be useful for a parent or a sibling using a matrimony site.
By Parent to another parent
13. Dear Madam, I reviewed the profile of your son and I believe he might be a good match for my daughter. She is 28 years old and working as a Manager in an MNC in Chandigarh. She is thoughtful, cultured and an affectionate person. I am a senior manager at ICICI and my wife is a homemaker. We have an older daughter who is married and settled in the US. Please review our daughter’s profile and do get back to me.
By sibling to a parent
14. Dear Madam, I came across the profile of your daughter. We are looking for an alliance for my brother who is a 30-year-old investment banker in Mumbai. He is well settled, comes from a cultured family, teetotaler and a straight forward person. I am his elder sister and I currently live in Mumbai with my husband and daughter. Can you please look up his profile and let me know if we can exchange horoscope for further matching? Regards, Sunitha.
By sibling to another sibling
15. Hello! Can you please review the profile of my brother and let me know if you will be interested in talking to us? I am the elder sister of Arun Kumar who is currently working as a consultant with KPMG in San Francisco. He is has a Master’s Degree from the University of Austin Texas and has a bachelor’s degree in Engineering from IIT Mumbai. He is an extrovert, has a modern outlook to life, and yet values culture and traditions. I will be happy to share additional details if you are interested in his profile for your sister.
By parent to sibling
16. I reviewed the profile of your sister and wanted to find out if it is possible to talk to you. Please review my son’s profile and let me know your interest. We come from a conservative Ansari Sunni Muslim family from Allahabad. My son is well settled and employed in the UP State Government as an officer. He is religious and lives by the five tenets of Islam. Look forward to hearing from you soon.
Expressing interest in modern matchmaking sites
If you have signed up for any of the contemporary matchmaking sites and you believe in one on one interaction (or a date) before bringing the parents into the equation, expressing interest for marriage might call for a slightly different approach. Here is an example.
17. I reviewed your profile and thrilled to learn that you are a Carnatic music aficionado. I am a huge fan of TM Krishna as well! I am sure you already know he is singing at the Music Academy next week and I happen to have an extra ticket. I hope you will join me on a musical date of sorts! To be frank with you, I really love your smile and liked that way you express yourself. I am pretty sure we will hit it off very well. If you would like, I will be happy to talk to you on the phone first before going on a date. Hope to hear from you soon!
Tips to review before you express interest through matrimony sites!
1. Please review the profile of the person carefully before expressing interest. Don’t “carpet bomb” with the hope of finding someone by chance.
2. The advantage of reviewing a profile carefully is that you can identify common areas of interest that you can call them out in the introductory message.
3. Try matching the tone and style of the profile description. If you find that the profile was created by the person interested in marriage and has well-crafted information about the person’s personality, interests and lifestyle, you can conclude that sending a stereotyped one line message or a grammatically incorrect messages (“Hey, let’s do friendship on Facebook”, “I am interested. Please tell me when I meet you.“) won’t get you anywhere.
4. Make sure you know who you are responding to. A majority of the profiles on matrimony sites are created by parents and siblings. Don’t send a flirtatious or humorous message to a parent!
6. If you get a negative response to your proposal to talk or meet, just move on to the next person. Don’t take it seriously or ask for an explanation!
7. Learn from messages that people send you! Think about why you responded to a message on a matrimony site and what was the impression you had after reading a message. Use these experiences to your advantage when it is your turn to write.
When you express interest, include a link to your Jodi Logik biodata.
We scanned partner expectations in two leading matrimony sites and realized that the format in which information is gathered from members of these sites are similar. Instead of focusing on the qualities of a good life partner, the focus was on making sure they eliminate everyone who will not meet expectations. Here is a screen shot of “About my partner expectations” section for your reference.
Instead of focusing on the qualities of a good life partner, the focus was on making sure they eliminate everyone who will not meet expectations. Here is a screen shot of “About my partner expectations” section for your reference.
While all the parameters listed above are important, they really don’t define the personality of the man or their personal goals or attitude towards married life.
So what’s the outcome of such skewed partner expectations? You will end up shortlisting a bunch of men through matrimony sites and end up wasting your time meeting them.
Why is that?
Only when you meet “prospective matches” you will discover that their lifestyle and priorities in life are completely misaligned or unpleasant facts will surface leaving you frustrated!
Read about the three sins of writing partner description for marriage! Click here to read more.
7 Partner expectation samples written the right way!
We have created seven partner expectations samples for women to help visualize the ideal man that look forward to marrying. We made realistic assumptions and you will certainly find sample partner preferences you can use as it is or get inspiration to create your awesome biodata for marriage.
1. Software engineer looking for a working professional
I am looking for a tall, handsome, Sikh professional based out of Mumbai. He should have a fulfilling career and should be able to support my career as a software engineer.
I travel occasionally and I am hoping to find someone who will be available to spend time with me. I am a social drinker and I am OK with marrying a social drinker. However, smoking is a strict no-no.
I don’t intend to stay with the in-laws and prefer an independent life. I have a modern outlook towards life but I believe in traditional values such as respect for parents and helping others in need. I am willing to change my opinions if you can convince me and you should be open-minded about your opinions as well.
2. Musician looking for a man with an artistic background
I am looking for a man who appreciates art and preferably has a keen interest in any art form. Anyone above 5′ 5″ in height with a pleasing personality and cheerful outlook towards life will certainly meet my expectations. Caste / sub-sect and horoscope match are important for me and my family.
I belong to a family of musicians and my future husband should not stand out like a sore thumb! A keen appreciation and understanding of the pulls and pressures in the life of a professional musician are required. I end up traveling a lot during November, December, and January of every year to perform at various classical music festivals across South India and hence the person I am marrying should be willing to support me in my musical endeavors.
3. Divorced woman who is looking to remarry
I am a divorced woman with no kids looking to take the plunge the second time! I had a brief marriage that lasted 10-months and broke up because we were completely incompatible.
Religion or caste does not matter to me. However, I am looking for someone who respects women, not too egotistical, and an ability to empathize with others. Having a great sense of humor and not taking yourself too seriously will be a definite plus.
I expect the person I marry to be a non-smoker. Social drinking is acceptable. Career oriented yet having a sense of responsibility towards family are traits that I appreciate a lot in the person I plan to marry.
4. Hearing-impaired woman looking to get married
I am a hearing-impaired woman and looking for a life partner who understands my disability but does not discriminate based on my impairment. I can speak orally and can hear well with the help of hearing aids and hence my future husband need not learn sign language.
My disability has not come in the way of my zest for life and my passion for travel. Hence, someone who likes visiting new places will be a bonus.
I expect my partner’s family to accept me the way, I am. I am also open to marrying a hearing-impaired person or any other disability.Although my family has been of great support in helping me grow up into a confident person, I believe in leading an independent life. Someone who can look at disability as a matter of fact and not treat it as a curse will be a good match.
I like to keep myself physically fit and hit the gym regularly. If you believe working out, leading a healthy lifestyle, and embracing a positive outlook towards life, we can certainly talk further!
Looking for family description samples for your marriage biodata? Here are 7 examples to get you started. Click here to read them.
5. An independent woman who loves to travel
I am looking for a smart, tall, well-off working professional who is based in Bangalore. I am a Hindu and don’t believe in caste and I am looking for to marry someone from the same religion who is a vegetarian, non-smoker and teetotaller.
I am looking for a man with a pleasing personality that can keep up with my impromptu getaways. You should be willing to also put up with my dog and be open to adopting more of the four-legged kind once we settle down.
I am close to my parents, but they lead an independent life. I am a people’s person and expect my future husband to also embrace my family and friends as his own.
If you are a Nobel Prize winner, please don’t respond. You probably spend all your time chasing after your passion. Believe in work-life balance? I do too! If you have nodded your head in agreement all along, do send me a message.
6. Young working woman in the US looking to settle down in the US
Looking for someone who is at least 5’8″, English / Hindi speaking, Hindu Indian working in the San Francisco Bay Area and is also a citizen / permanent resident. Caste is not an issue.
Having grown up in the US since I was 2 years old, I seldom speak my mother tongue and speak English with an American accent. However, I am still an Indian by heart and expect my partner to appreciate Indian traditions and culture. I am not very outgoing by nature but do have a handful of great friends.
I love to eat and watch a lot of cooking shows on television and hence looking for someone who shares my passion for food. I do not expect my partner to be a master chef, but it would be great if he understands the basic fundamentals of cooking. I am a vegetarian (not a vegan, btw) and would prefer a vegetarian for a partner, to make things simpler.
7. An MBBS student looking to marry a professional
I am looking for a tall, handsome professional, preferably a Doctor, based out of Chennai. I am in my final year MBBS and intend to pursue my specialization in Oncology. I am a Christian and looking to marry a Christian of any sect. I am god fearing, but consider religion to be a very personal choice.
My career is important and I expect to marry someone who will support my passion for being a medical professional. I grew up in a joint family and open to moving into a joint family (if required) is not an issue for me. When I am not studying, I am a member of the local choir. Someone who has a zest for life and a multi-dimensional personality will be preferred. Smoking and drinking is not OK.
Wondering how to write your matrimony profile description?
Writing your matrimony profile description is not an easy task. Just ask worried parents with children in the “marriageable age”!
Some of the common issues families in contemporary India face when writing a matrimony profile description include:
1. Young, single people in India who aren’t in any relationship are happy to remain single! When parents force them to create a marriage biodata, the lack of interest and enthusiasm translates into poorly written matrimony profile descriptions!
2. Out of frustration, parents hijack the process of writing the matrimony profile description. The only problem is that they are clueless about what their children want or how they could create an impactful marriage biodata.
3. Then you have men and women who face difficulties in writing a matrimony profile description because of personal situations such as divorce, physical disability, children from prior marriages or children from a divorced family.
There is yet another issue that plagues your effort to write a matrimony profile description and it’s called “follow the herd” mentality. That’s why we end up having stereotyped matrimony profiles.
We look around to see how others write matrimony profiles and end up copying it resulting in some popular phrases such as “innocent divorcee”, “Fair and slim girl”, “tall and fair boy”, “MNC groom only” to name a few.
We have put together 7 matrimony profile description samples that will serve as a good reference point for you to write your matrimony profile description for your marriage biodata or online matrimony profile. These samples will be useful if you would your personal situation is unique.
1. Educated woman who is not working
I am 22 years old, 5’6″ tall, with a medium build and cheerful outlook towards life. I am a commerce graduate from Delhi University and I am currently figuring out the options I have in terms of pursuing my studies further or finding a job. I love painting and you will find some of my painting adorning the walls of a few offices in Delhi! I use my paintings to shine a spotlight on the beauty of nature all around us. My parents tell me I am quite handy when it comes to taking up household chores. Actually, I enjoy decorating my home but I am also a stickler for cleanliness. I love spending time with my family and have a big circle of friends as well.
2. Divorced woman with a child
I am a 28-year-old, 5’5″ tall, normal build woman looking for a soulmate. I am divorced and now have a 2-year-old daughter. I am employed with a major IT company in Chennai and I own a home as well. My career and my daughter keep me busy but when I do find time, I love trekking with a group of friends in and around Chennai. I also love listening to Carnatic music and my family tells me I can hold a tune. I have a positive outlook towards life and believe that we can find lasting happiness no matter what our circumstances may be.
3. Divorced man with no children
I am a tall, dark, handsome, 30-year-old man looking for a second chance to find true love. I married four years ago but ended my brief marriage due to differences in lifestyle. I am a longtime practitioner of yoga and believe in leading a simple lifestyle. I don’t believe in entering a rat race to acquire material comforts and would rather pay attention to building closer relationships with family and friends. This does not mean that I lack ambition. In fact, I have plans to launch an online business that provides an opportunity for people to improve their physical and mental health through yoga.
4. Visually impaired woman
I am a 26-year-old, 5’5″ tall woman based out of Bangalore. I have a congenital visual impairment that restricts my field of vision. My visual impairment has not stopped me from pursuing my education and I have an MBA Degree from the University of Mysore. I am currently working for an MNC in Bangalore helping them design software applications that are compatible with reading tools used by visually challenged customers. Other than avoiding public transportation or venturing out on the streets on my own, I lead a pretty normal life. I love gardening and cooking during the weekends and plan I am probably the first one to try out new restaurants in the city!
5. Wheelchair-bound educated man
What’s a man in a wheelchair doing in a matrimony site? I am a 25-year old man from a conservative, Brahmin family in Hyderabad. I lost my legs in a road accident 5-years ago. I did go through a lot of struggles as I went through physical rehabilitation and adjustment to my new lifestyle on wheels! My rather unfortunate experience has a silver lining as well. My perspective towards life and what we take for granted has changed completely and I am now a much more confident and determined in my pursuits. I live each day as if it is my last day on earth and enjoy life to the fullest extent. I am financially independent and run a successful corporate training and consulting business from home. My family and friends have been my pillar of support and I am a people person.
6. Career oriented woman
I am a 26-year-old, 5’8″ tall, athletic woman based out of Mumbai. I have an engineering degree from IIT Mumbai and an MBA from IIM Ahmadabad. I am current working as an investment banker for a large British bank based out of Mumbai. I intend to pursue my career after marriage and looking for someone who will appreciate living with a progressive, independent-minded woman. I love reading books and my frequent business trips provide me an opportunity to catch up on the latest bestsellers. I am also a collector of antiques with a specific focus on Indian culture and history. I love my family and look forward to weekends when I can unwind with my parents and enjoy the tranquility of my home.
7. Self-made man
“If life throws lemons at you, make lemonade” – This pretty much sums up my life so far! I am a 29-year-old man, 6 foot tall, living in Hyderabad. After completing my engineering degree, I joined a software company in Hyderabad only to be laid off after 3 years. Instead of joining another company, I decided to start a company that helps software engineers find a job! After the initial struggle, I am now running a successful company and employ a dozen people. I am a determined, passionate person who believes in making a difference to others. I am a foodie and probably the most fanatical fan of the traditional Hyderabadi cuisine.
Need more matrimony profile description samples based on your lifestyle choices?
Check these out these awesome matrimony profile descriptions for women and men. They bring out the personality and the lifestyle with elegance and style!
Choosing from the thousands of matrimonial sites in India is a headache!
According to the book, Marrying in South Asia: Shifting Concepts, Changing Practices in a Globalising World, there are over 1500 matrimony sites in India. Our ‘unscientific guesstimate’ is that there are over 2000 matrimonial sites in India. In addition, modern matchmaking providers that provide managed dating services are also proliferating in urban India.
If you are someone looking to go through an arranged marriage, you have a problem of plenty when it comes to choosing from the thousands of online matrimonial sites in India. It is quite challenging for anyone to choose one site over the other. Here are four reasons.
1. Low entry barrier for launching matrimonial sites in India
The reason for a large number of sites is the fact that the entry barrier for launching matrimonial sites in India is very low. Create a simple registration form, provide a time-tested profile development feature and throw in a search feature. That’s it. Everybody and their mother think they can attract a large number of customers by just launching a site. Traditional marriage brokers have also jumped into the business of launching matrimony sites as they also have a large number of matrimony profiles in their database.
2. Community-based matrimonial sites in India
The early entrants in the online matrimony market have branched out to offer community-based matrimonial sites in India. For example, tamilmatrimony.com and telegumatrimony.com belong the same company. The dilemma for the user then becomes should they choose to signup with community-based or religion-based matrimonial sites in India or register with more broad-based portals?
3. Matrimonial sites in India are mostly clones
Barring a handful of sites, most matrimonial sites in India look alike and the feature / functionality list is also the same. The only difference you will see if the size and the quality of the profile database. However, you will never know the size or the quality fo the profile database before you enroll and actually use the website. Without independent verification, there is no way for us to trust the profile numbers that matrimony sites in India project to attract new customers.
4. Dubious claims about the size of the profile database
Often, matrimonial sites in India claim to have a large pool of profiles. However, not all of them disclose the fact that the number of active profiles is only a small percentage of the total profiles. Also, the classification of what an active profile is subject to debate and discussion. Let’s say, a site claims they have 2 million active profiles, but the definition of active profile is any activity on the site within the last 6 months. We will never know how many of the 2 million profiles logged off 5 months ago, never to return?
A review of top 5 matrimonial sites in India
In order to help you navigate the maze of matrimonial sites in India, we have compiled a list of five sites along with basic information about these sites, pricing information (if they have publicly disclosed it), user reviews in public forums and Alexa traffic rating to give you a sense of how popular these sites are. Remember, the smaller the Alexa ranking, the more traffic the site has.
Shaadi is one of the oldest matrimony sites in India. According to their website, they have over 35 million users and 4 million people found their matches. Let’s just assume that they have a large user base and you have a fairly good chance fo bumping into someone that might be suitable for further conversation.
They don’t disclose pricing information until you register with them. Free registration will give you access to their database but is pretty much a hook to reel new customers in. If you need to communicate with prospective matches, you will need a paid subscription. Here are the various membership plans offered by Shaadi. We found that the membership plans typically ranges from Rs.2000 to Rs 5000 for a 3-month period. The more you pay, the more number of messages you can send to prospective matches.
Sudha, 28, from Goa, India, suggests that you wait to give a man you meet online your phone number because “most users are not reliable and serious.” She has been using Shaadi.com to look for a man who is ambitious, educated and fun-loving. Sudha was disappointed when some of the men she met in person were not the way they presented themselves in their online photos and messages. Remember: ask for a few recent photos of your match without hats or sunglasses.
The app was very useful while searching a partner for my brother. Very user-friendly and easy to use and highly recommended others. The initial launch was tedious and I used to refer to their website however the new app version seems to be good.found better matches as compared to other matrimonial sites. Was also looking in our community, but no luck.
Jeevansathi is gets mentioned as one of the platforms of choice among matrimonial sites in India. They have a large database of verified profiles. Consistently users that we have interviewed rate Jeevansathi poor when it comes to the user interface. However, people also say that the members are more serious in their intent!
Jeevansaathi membership plan ranges between Rs 650 to Rs.1110 per month. Here are the details.
There are a lot of complaints about the paid membership features and services. Here is one complaint about the fact that the paid membership service inexplicably changed the user’s requirements that resulted in a whole bunch of profiles being sent her way that did not meet her search criteria.
To my surprise, they relaxed our criteria out of our imagination which is totally unacceptable and started sending mail alerts one in a day on a random basis. We again contacted on the above contact number but this time, nobody was picking up the phone for continuous one week and when we tried to contact them on their mail ids then demanded of money refund then nobody took pains to listen to us and left unattended. We were losing our time in following up with them on our grievance rather than focusing on groom search.
Simplymarry is a matrimony site that belongs to the Times Group (Times of India Newspaper). They claim to have millions of profiles in their database and there is not much of a difference between them and other popular matrimonial sites in India. They also offer community and religion-based search feature.
SimplyMarry is advertised as a zero subscription matrimony service. However, they have also indicated in one of their pages about various membership options! We are still not sure about the “free” spiel. Our minions will be investigating this further. Stay tuned.
They should work more on service part. Because, all people will like to feel special and if anyone don’t give importance, then they will never forgive. So, I advise them to work more on service part. And moreover, they should focus on people’s profile and all profile should be genuine and perfect. But, one big advantage is that they also provide free message services. here, you can exchange your contact details for FREE!
Bharat Matrimony is close competitor of Shaadi. They claim to have millions of verified members in their database. Along with Shaadi, Bharatmatrimony is a pioneer in the online matrimony business and have branched out to offer online matrimony in over a dozen languages for various states and communities in India. They also offer other services like personalized or assisted matrimony and matrimony services for elite (in other words, rich) users.
Their pricing information is as seen in the screen below. Their monthly pricing ranges from Rs.800 to Rs.1500 per month and will vary depending on the package and the duration.
BharatMatrimony is ranked 1221 by Alexa in terms of popularity in India. However, we estimate their traffic to be higher as they have multiple religion / community-based portals such as tamilmatrimony.com.
Kadhambari Sridhar, 26, from Falls Church, Va., endured seven unsuccessful exchanges on TamilMatrimony. She said she met men who were “coerced” by their parents and were “not ready for marriage.” Some men even stood her up on dates. Kadambari found a match on Tinder!
My marriage was an arranged one. My mother posted my profile without taking paid membership at first. She had to go through a lot of unnecessary profiles. She went to Kerala Matrimony’s office in Thiruvananthapuram and paid the money and became a paid member and there on she got legit profiles and got information of whoever contacted her. She found a groom for me by talking to them over the phone and rest like any other arranged marriage. The family we found were like ours and we are happy. Today I’m happily married.
This is a site run by the Malayala Manorama Group in Kerela. They also claim to be the largest matrimony site in Kerala. Because they are backed by a publishing group, they provide additional services like print ads.
They have a big list of subscription options for various prices. You will get a headache when you look at their pricing chat! Here is a screen that provides all the gory details. We recommend you spend a leisurely Sunday afternoon evaluating the various pricing options. If only they had provided a monthly cost for the various options!
We could not find any reviews for their website. However, we did find some reviews for their Android app. We will update this post if we manage to unearth user reviews for their website.
new layout – really bad. the updated layout is good but functionality lacks convenient app browsing. takes longer to load pages. lag in app performance. Pls include app notification feature too. Would be very helpful for all. Also, please enable a feature to be signed in once app is installed. Signing in every time is a menace.
From Good To Bad To Worse!!! The app development team blindly release any updates, without doing the adequate trial and error and conducting rectifications. You are nothing less than the “KINDERGARTEN kids” who are just impatient to show the new toy to others!!!!! I would rather stick to the m4marry website than this useless app. Goodbye!
This is a regional site based out of Chennai and caters to the local Brahmin community. We decided to profile this site even though the size of their database is limited (as they cater to a niche audience in a local market). The reason for including them is because of the fact that they have a strong presence in the local market and their founder is very active in galvanizing the community for matchmaking purposes.
There are no freebies here. You got to pay to create your profile. Here is a table or prices. They offer discounted pricing for disabled users.
This is not a matrimony site! They are an aggregator. Here is how Bandhan works. You sign up in any of the matrimony sites (Shadi, Jeevansathi, SimplyMarry, BharatMatrimony) and then share the profile ID with Bandhan. Your profile is now a part of their database. Now anyone searching for profiles through Bandhan can find you. In simple words, Bandhan brings together all the profiles from all the leading matrimony sites. That’s neat! To top it all, it’s a free service.
If there is one that that majorly affects your chances of getting responses for your online matrimony profile, it is your matrimonial profile photograph. Here are some facts behind how important your matrimonial profile photograph is.
Matrimonial profile photograph and first impression
According to Princeton psychologists Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov, it takes just 1/10 of a second to form an impression about the person we meet! This was the conclusion from their research titled “First Impressions“. When someone is searching for matching profiles, the first thing they see is your photograph (unless you are anonymous). Once they make up their mind, it is very difficult to change their perception. This translates to your profile getting ignored right away.
It brings out three major issues, all pertaining to the profile photograph. Poor quality photos that look grainy (low resolution), not having enough photographs and posting old photos that don’t really represent who you are now are cardinal sins that you should avoid when creating your matrimonial profile.
Don’t treat your profile photograph casually
Another research study by Rory McGloin (Assistant Professor in the Department of Communication at the University of Connecticut) and his colleagues has shown that people, in general, prefer “enhanced photographs” – the ones with better lighting, hair and makeup. According to McGloin, “You look at a picture of someone and all of a sudden you’re making judgments about what their personality is like, what their values are, whether or you want to go on a date with them or even maybe spend the rest of your life with them.” You can read more about this study here. This finding is especially important when almost all the leading matrimony sites have now started offering a smartphone app where the profile photo takes center stage in the search results.
You will need more than one profile photograph
One of the world’s largest dating sites analyzed their database to find out which profiles got the maximum number of responses and here is what they concluded. People that uploaded 4 or more photographs got more responses from prospective matches compared to those that had less than 4 profile photographs. Also, profiles with photographs are 9 times more likely to get “express interest” / “interested” communication from matching profiles.
17 tips for your matrimonial profile photograph
Now that it is clear that you will need a handful pf great profile photographs for matrimony sites, the next important questions is how do you go about taking your profile photographs. We have picked out what experts have had to say on this topic and lined up 17 tips that can help you take a winning matrimony profile photograph and get more responses to your online matrimony profile.
1. Include at least one headshot
Including at least one professional headshot is a must. This should be your primary profile photograph. But make sure you don’t include four different headshots and nothing else as it conveys the impression that you are hiding something. Not including a proper headshot in your profile also doesn’t give the other party a good sense of who you are. According to Roman Griffen, author of Internet Dating: Tips, Tricks and Tactics. “When the picture you post was taken from across the street, the purpose of posting it—letting people see what you look like—is defeated.”
2. Include multiple photographs that showcase your personality
A great way to enhance your credibility and attractiveness will be to include multiple profile photographs along with your headshot. You can use these photographs to showcase your personality. For example, if you are an avid cyclist, remember to include a photograph that shows you on a bicycle. Multiple photographs that showcase your full body along with your headshot will dramatically improve your credibility.
3. Let the light shine, but not too much
You will certainly need proper light to get a good profile photograph, but direct sunlight is a bad idea. Sunlight is harsh and can make you look older! According to Improve Photography, normal lighting in a house or during the heat of the day is not flattering on the skin; however, once light passes through a window, it is very soft and diffused. Consider placing your subject next to a window so the light hits the model at an angle (not looking straight out the window). Without much effort, you’ve created beautiful light which studios strain to copy.
4. Outdoor photographs are great
If you can find a park, beach, or a bed of flowers anywhere outside your home, make use of the natural scenery to take a few nice outdoor snaps. According to Digital camera World, “For the most striking portraits, it’s often best to keep things simple, so try to shoot against uncluttered backgrounds such as the sky, a wall or foliage. This will help your subject stand out.” Also, avoid outdoor shots between 11 am to 1 pm as the sunlight is probably the harshest.
5. You will look confident if you feel confident
Your photographs look good when you are confident. The best way to radiate confidence is to make sure you wear a dress that fits you well. Pick the dresses that have won you compliments from your family and friends. Of course, if you are planning to take multiple profile photographs for your matrimony profile, make sure you wear different clothes. You don’t want different photographs with the same dress. It’s very obvious to the viewer and you will create an impression that you are desperate.
6. What is your good side?
Yes, there is indeed a good side to your face and that’s your left side! We are not kidding. According to PsychCentral, humans exhibit a greater intensity of emotions on the left side of our face and a research study has found that humans perceive the left side of the face to be more pleasant compared to pictures of the right side of faces.
7. Try smiling
When you take profile photographs, try different expressions. A great big smile, a gentle smile, a neutral pose, or any other shade in between. Then look at the photographs to see what is more attractive. Smiling always conveys an image of confidence and it’s a great way to showcase your good teeth! OKCupid has published some interesting findings on the difference between the profile photographs of men and women. You should read their blog post as well to get some new ideas.
8. Using your smartphone?
if you are depending on your trusted smartphone to take pictures for your matrimony profile, try downloading specialized apps that will give you greater options to get better photos. According to this blog, Apps like Camera+ (iOS) and ProCapture Free (Android) have additional features alongside the normal phone settings. Others have more specialized functions like Slow Shutter Cam (iOS), Night Cam and Pro HDR (iOS, Android).
9. The rule of thirds
The rule of thirds is a guideline that professional photographers use when composing images. Any good photograph will have all key elements at the intersection of imaginary grid lines that divide the photographs into thirds. Here is an example from Wikipedia.
10. Do you know how to squinch?
Squinching is the act of making your eyes more compact. According to Gizmodo, “Professional portrait photographer Peter Hurley suggests you squinch next time you have your picture taken. Hurley explains squinching as the “action of squinting your eyes in such a way as to portray confidence and self-assurance as opposed to the fear and uncertainty that you project when you stare wide-eyed at the camera.” Here is an example.
11. Mastering the sitting pose
According to this blog, men and women should use different techniques if their profile photograph requires them to remain seated (for example, if you are a King or Queen sitting on your throne!). Here are some tips on how to master the sitting pose:
“For men, to look bigger than you are, you can always spread your knees widely to inhabit a lot of space and angle your whole body towards the camera.”
“For women, assuming you’re sitting at an angle, always cross the back leg over the front one. There’s less thigh this way. Second, for an even cleaner and leaner look, opt to cross your ankles instead of your knees.”
12. Avoiding the double chin
Apparently, models are trained to keep their tongues pulled up behind their front teeth to automatically tighten the muscles of the neck! Check out this video to see how this idea works and then thank us by liking and sharing this post 🙂
13. What should we do with our hands?
This is a tricky thing to understand. Men don’t know what to do with their hands and the women end up overshadowing the face when they start posing with their hands. Check out this instructional video by an expert photographer, Lindsay Adler, that tell you precisely what to do with you hands when posing for portrait photographs.
14. The standing pose for women and camera angles for men
This video by Tiffany Hendra has very simple tips that can help women master the standing pose for online profile photographs. Called the “S pose”, women need to swivel the hips away from the camera but pull their shoulder and face so that they don’t end up with only a side profile. According to Hendra, men can look better with a camera angle that is at or above their eye level.
15. Tilt your head
Staring dead straight into the camera may make people wonder if you are possessed by an evil spirit. Slightly tilting your head down and angling your eyes upwards can create a much better photograph.
16. Don’t ignore the background
Paying attention to the background is often the difference between a great photo and a good photo. A dangling telephone wire, a bad patch of paint on the wall, an open cupboard revealing all its messy contents or even a misplaced book can ruin a perfectly good profile photograph otherwise.
17. Professional photographer or not?
We will certainly recommend using a professional photographer for your matrimonial profile photos (if you can afford one). Walking into any of the photo studios in your town or city randomly is not a great idea as you never know the quality of photographers they may have. Please ask your friends for a recommendation. Facebook or Google search can point you to credible photographers that have demonstrated their work.
Bonus tips from Joe Sinnott
Joe Sinnott is an ace photographer and a faculty member of the school of visual arts in New York city. Here are some practical tips from Joe that should help you take your own awesome matrimonial profile photograph (with some help of course!).
1. Avoid direct sunlight. Cloudy weather is always great as photos look good in diffused light. Direct sunlight can cause shadows and that’s not good.
2. Try to take your photographs from a slightly higher angle. Portrait photographs look better if photographed from above the eye line.
3. Women shouldn’t try to tuck their chin in and men should avoid the folded hand with tilted head pose.
4. Try to focus the lens on the face and blur out the background. Of course, this depends on the background!
5. Keep your eyes on the camera lens. Don’t stare into space as the person viewing your photo will wonder where you are looking!
If you are an Indian, born with a fair skin, you already have a huge advantage when compared to your relatively less fortunate brothers and sisters. Having a fair skin automatically gives you power and authority in day to day interactions with other people.
Walk into a store, you are always treated with respect and you will never be mistaken for a store employee. Here is a picture of an Indian supermarket.
Noah Seelam | AFP | Getty Images
Stopped by a traffic cop for not wearing a helmet? Your skin colour can possibly dictate how the cop treats you. He will either respectfully chide you for violating the rule or abuse you.
These two examples are based on anecdotes and personal experiences. A lot of us will get angry at such “generalisations”. While it is true that implicit racism while being widespread, cannot be applied to everyone, here is another conclusive reason why India’s obsession with fair skin is actually a major issue.
When did India’s obsession with fair skin start?
To find an answer just read the book “The Customs of the Kings of India” by Ronald Latham. This book is a travelog of the famous European explorer, Marco Polo. Here is what he had to say about India that will surprise you.
“For I assure you that the darkest man is here the most highly esteemed and considered better than others who are not so dark. Let me add that in very truth these people portray and depict their gods and their idols black and their devils white as snow.”
Clearly, we Indians were wiser than Europeans. In fact, the tables were completely turned. Europeans were the torchbearers of racism and when India became a colony of Britain, we decided to embrace our “master’s” values and discard what we believed in, to the dustbin of history!
Much of the history of European aesthetic practices is a history of whitening skin. Because of Queen Elizabeth I’s efforts to make her skin appear ghostly white, nearly transparent, extremely pale skin became known as the “Elizabethan ideal of beauty.
As you can see the idea of fair is beautiful traces its roots to Britain and spread like wildfire as Britain colonized India and other countries. Here is what a British soldier named Charles Gold had to say about South Indian women way back in 1806, “South Indian women of the Coromandel Coast were of small stature, have good figures, and some have such pleasing and delicate features that were it not for their complexions, they might be termed beautiful.” In our quest to be seen more like our rulers, we are all guilty of falling over one another to become more anglicized and that included developing a mindset that considers fair as beautiful.
India’s obsession with fair skin shines through in matrimony ads
Jyotsna Vaid, professor of psychology at Texas A&M University, published a research report titled “Fair Enough – Colour and the commodification of self in Indian matrimonials.” In this research, she analyzed matrimonial ads placed in four magazines that are popular among non-resident Indians. These magazines included India Abroad, 1st Place Matrimonials (India and US Editions), Vivah. Matrimonial ads were randomly selected from issues spanning 1976 to 2005 to see how things have changed over a period of time.
Here are some of the key points from her study. Please note that these conclusions were based on one of the four magazines and not applicable to all magazines. This is because the format for placing ads was different in every magazine.
Fair skin is mentioned more among women
Women mentioned looks (“attractive”) in 44.1% if the ads, followed by build (“slim”) in 24.7%, followed by “fair complexion” in 17.2%.Only 6.7% of the ads from men mentioned “fair complexion”.
US-born Indians describe themselves as having a fair skin
Among the three category of Indians in the US based on immigration status (US-born / raised, green card holders and temporary workers), a greater percentage of US-born/raised Indians mentioned fair skin in their matrimonial ads!
Mention of “fair complexion” has increased in the most recent time frame
The research study was conducted by sampling matrimonial ads across three different time periods. The latest time frame (1996 to 2005) saw a sharp increase in the number of ads placed by women that mentioned “fair complexion”.
In summary, Vaid concludes that “The ideology that “fair is beautiful” continue to exert an effect on the self-esteem of women who have been repeatedly reminded that if they are not fair, they cannot be beautiful.“
Bollywood stars actively promote the fair skin obsession
Shah Rukh Khan – Fair and Handsome, John Abraham Garnier, Priyanka Chopra – Ponds, Shahid Kapoor – Vaseline, Deepika Padukone – Neutrogena and Katrina Kaif – L’Oreal. With so much star power behind the concept of promoting fairness as a virtue that everyone should aspire for, it will take a major effort to reset the mindset or obsessiveness towards fair skin.
But not all hope is lost
The good news use is that in the face of the onslaught by movie stars, there is a growing awareness that the unnecessary obsession with fair skin is not good for us. Women and even men are worried about their skin colour especially when it’s time to get married. Even dark- skinned movie stars and TV actresses are often seen sporting a heavy layer of makeup or their complexion is made lighter during post-production!
Women of Worth runs the “Dark is Beautiful” campaign to create and promote the idea that being dark is nothing to be ashamed of in a country that values fair skin. It has had big name supporters like the actress, Nandita Das. They have an active Facebook page and we encourage you to support them.
I have a dark skin and want to get married
Congratulations! You are in luck! Dark skinned people indeed can get married and can lead normal lives. Another good news is that the success of your marriage has no connection with the colour of your skin. However, one of the challenges you will probably face is being rejected because of your skin colour. Going back to Jyotsna Vaid’s research, here is a sample matrimonial ad that she refers to for highlighting the impact skin colour has on a woman looking to get married. This ad was from a woman in Bombay and was published in 2002 through a matrimony magazine.
Though otherwise modest, I must say I am very attractive. intelligent, and caring person. I take pride in my family and upbringing and I am a very sincere. yet a fun-loving person with a very good sense of humour. I am honest, warm and affectionate, and believe in good old Indian values. I am convent educated with a broad range of interests. I am well respected and liked both at work and by my friends. A very pleasing personality and good at chores. Please reply only if you are very serious about marriage. I must tell upfront that although I am beautiful, slim and tall, I am not fair (not black either, just “saanwali“).
This is a beautifully written profile and compares well with what we have recommended as well. However, the last line brings out her insecurity about her dark skin colour and she warns potential suitors about her skin colour!
We believe its time to forget about your skin colour and start projecting your personality, lifestyle and interests.
We also recommend that you stay clear of men that want to marry a fair woman no matter what your skin colour is. It’s time to stand up against misguided priorities – one profile at a time.
The Ulaga Nayagan Kamal Haasan Munnetra Kazhagam (in English, this roughly translates to The association of people who don’t have anything worthwhile to do other than promoting Kamal Haasan) has submitted a formal petition with over 10 million signatures demanding that Jodi Logik minions explain why Rajnikanth had the first say in explaining what matrimony users go through. The problem was that we had to seek Gowthami’s permission before we could publish the post and hence we decided to move forward with our post on Rajnikanth. We hope this post will calm the tempers and even the field for Kamal Haasan as well.
It’s ridiculously easy to sign-up. It’s as easy as Kamal Haasan drinking tea while handling roughians. But as you know movie stunts are just that staged stunts. You sign up easily only to discover that you will be measuring the length and the breadth of your teeth and other body parts as everything about you needs to be disclosed.
Creating your profile on matrimony sites
This is where all your inadequacies are revealed and you start hating the profile you are creating. What started out with excitement will end up in a major disappointment just like what Kamal Haasan felt. It seems matrimony sites are competing with car manufacturers that list everything from engine specifications to color, interiors, and add-on options. Very quickly you will realize that you are just another product to be sold or bartered.
Dodging the salesman
You will soon realize that the free matrimony site you signed up for is no longer free! It’s a classic bait and switch tactic designed to reel in unsuspecting people and once they are members, they are asked to pay up. Kamal experiences this in the form a money lender that lent him money at a ridiculously high interest rate.
Communicating with a potential match
Communicating with a potential match in matrimony sites is literally a “dress-tearing” experience. Kamal and Rati demonstrated this way back in the 80s in this classic scene. First of all communication is usually with a parent. So everything you say has to appeal to the parent and also impress the potential match.
Now get ready for some heavy-duty Kamal Haasan style crying after you lose your dress and your wallet to the matrimony site. If your name is Soorya, don’t watch this video! Wondering why the results are disappointing? Check out the reasons here.
Don’t go through what Kamal Hassan went through. Avoid this emotional roller-coaster by signing up forJodi Logik.
According to the New York Times, India has more than 1500 matrimony websites for arranged marriage and their numbers are growing like wildfire! The reason or this growth in the number of matrimony websites is the fact that India has 605 million people below the age group of 25. That’s almost twice the size of the population of the United States! In the next 5 to 10 years, India will see an explosive demand for marriage and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for matrimony websites (pun intended).
Why are matrimony websites popular?
While dating sites are also becoming popular, it is the arranged marriage market where business is booming. Arranged marriage is a family-driven initiative and has all the seriousness of a nuclear reactor going critical! When prospective customers are serious buyers or consumers, they expect results. There are two key reasons for the popularity of matrimony websites:
The reduction in the median family size in urban, as well as rural areas in India, is a direct result of population control practices as well as preference to move away from joint family set up. As a result, the social network that families typically had within their village or town has shrunk considerably. This has contributed to increased dependence on matrimony websites when it comes to finding matches from the same caste or other cultural parameters.
Rapid urbanization has also created a similar situation to growth in nuclear families. Urban families find it difficult to find matches for their children in a city that is culturally different from their home town or village, resulting in the growth of matrimony websites that seem to mimic traditional approaches to arranged marriage.
While the largest matrimony sites are delivering results, the question is can they continue to sustain their past success in light of the emerging changes. These changes are driven by the improving socio-economic condition of families, greater exposure to the outside world via the Internet, media, travel, and increasing education levels among women. The current generation of parents have benefited from India’s economic reforms back in the 1990s and have a different outlook towards marriages compared to that of their parents.
If you are someone that hasn’t found love on your own, and your parents are breathing down your neck, you are probably planning to sign-up with one of the matrimony websites. Before you do so, you should know the top seven traps to avoid when navigating online matrimony sites. We have done all the hard work for you. Just read on.
1. Beware of the freemium model in matrimony websites
Most of the matrimony websites, if not all, operate on the “freemium” model. This is how the freemium model works – You sign up free of cost to access basic features or limited features and then you pay to access premium features. This is how most of the websites operate as they need to eventually make money to survive and grow. However, you should watch out for websites that don’t offer any meaningful service when you are a “free” user. In addition, you will end up feeling like a prospective customer that needs to be sold to at every turn!
Is your FREE profile worth it?
Here are some examples:
You sign up for free, but you need to pay to communicate with shortlisted matches.
You see only limited matches and need to pay to see more matches.
In order for your profile to be made more visible, you will have to pay more.
We are not saying that this model is bad. All successful international online product companies such as LinkedIn, Spotify, Dropbox, to name a few, rely on the freemium model. It’s just that you need to be aware of what you are signing up for when you enthusiastically sign up for a FREE matrimony site.
2. Matrimony websites are the breeding grounds for creeps
While we cannot blame arranged marriage sites for letting creeps and stalkers create profiles and search for profiles, being aware of the fact that you are likely to be a victim of online stalking is a good first step. Many arranged marriage websites give the badge of “trusted profiles” if a user validates their identity. But the real problem is the unsavory “trusted profiles” you may have to contend with. Here is one very good example of what we mean by creeps.
This is a real story!
As you can see this guy decided to “date” women through matrimony websites just for fun with no intent to get married. In fact, his parents were never even aware of the fact that their son was up to no good! Just image wasting your time having multiple rounds of conversations and even dates with this loser!
3. Getting lost in matrimony websites
The most popular arranged marriage websites were created over a decade ago. Their philosophy is based on the premise that you can move the process of arranged marriage online. All the prejudices, idiosyncrasies of real-world arranged marriages were made available online. They decided to add more features or in other words, more features that will make them money. What you now have is a hodge-podge of features that act more as distractions when navigating the sites. You are bound to get a headache or you may end up paying for some “premium” feature inadvertently!
Look at all the highlighted sections of the screen from a matrimony site. The number of menu items and links in the screen is truly astounding and confusing.
The biggest issue with all matrimony websites is that they attempt to classify you or box you into a category or what we call a matrimony profile. You become yet another commodity that will be sold to. Every profile you will see will read the same with the profile photograph being the difference! You might as well not waste any time in reading the profile and just base your shortlist on how “good looking” the potential match is!
Here is how you are boxed into a matrimony profile to fit a stereotype.
Stereotyped matrimony profiles
Here is an example of a search result in a popular matrimony site.
Featured profiles only highlight how boring profiles can be!
Can you spot the difference between two profiles? They are both boring and you might as well be shortlisting people from a prison camp! Notice that the profile on the top with the yellow background is a “featured profile”. In other words, somebody paid this matrimony site to show their unattractive and anonymous profile to more people!
5. Who am I talking to?
When you reach out to potential matches, are you sure you are reaching out to the profile owner? The answer is “more often than not”. Invariably, you will end up talking to the parent who has actually created the profile! This is one sure way of making sure you don’t develop any romantic feelings and the entire process of arranged marriage remains sterile and true to the time-tested process embraced by our ancestors!
Here is a screenshot from an online matrimony website. As you can see the number of profiles created by the parents (look under Profiles posted by) is significantly more than those created by the man or the woman interested in getting married.
Guess who creates most of the profiles in matrimony sites?
The dangers of interacting with parents and relatives are apparent. Parents end up describing your expectations based on what they read elsewhere! Decades of being exposed to matrimony ads in newspapers, the practice of submitting biodata for marriages through local religious gathering places (which have now morphed into caste-based Facebook groups) have conditioned parents to write your profile in a certain way. Here
Here is a template parents use to create a profile in online matrimony sites.
“Well educated <your caste here> boy, tall, handsome, looking for a homely, professionally qualified <caste here> girl. Only engineers or doctors, <sub sect>, please excuse.” may well be your profile headline.
6. Anonymous profiles will remain anonymous
Beware of anonymous profiles! Matrimony sites offer users the option to keep their profile anonymous. Guess what it is for? Read the paragraph on stalkers above! The bright side of anonymous profiles is that there is an element of curiosity in wanting to see who the person is behind the blurred out photograph. But brace yourself for a big time disappointment when you actually “see” the person.
The disappointment is because of the fact that you may have jumped an extra few hoops to see yet another profile that you think is not suitable!
Do you think this faceless widget can become your soulmate?
Anonymous profiles are meant to protect the privacy of the matrimony website users. However, the moment you decide to sign up for matrimony websites, you are signing up for a numbers game. If you don’t meet people regularly through online matrimony sites, your chances of finding that special someone comes down dramatically. Anonymous profiles are never exciting and more often than not, flatter to deceive.
7. Matching algorithms don’t work
Matrimony websites have yet another issue to deal with. It’s their search algorithms. You have two types of websites – those that provide matches based on your caste or the skin color you prefer (which is usually “fair” or “wheatish”) and then there are those that have lined up psychologists and behavior experts to read your mind. Either way, it’s painful to answer inane questions like how many hands or legs you have or complicated questions like “If you were an animal, what animal would you be?” Here is an example of how matching is done.
Wondering why you are seeing these profiles?
Notice that the matching parameters include income range and profession. Matrimony sites end up focusing way too much on hard facts as a means for matching. The ideal requirements would be to align profiles based on shared interests, goals, and expectations and leave all other parameters to the users to decide based on their interactions.
Want a better result with online matrimony sites?
Why not create your matrimony profile or biodata for marriage using Jodi Logik and share your cool, custom profile with people you may have shortlisted through matrimony sites?
Here are three reasons why this approach can dramatically improve your chances of finding your soulmate.
1. Create a customized biodata for marriage
With Jodi Logik, every profile is different. Select from hand-crafted themes to reflect your personality, express your lifestyle and interests visually through photographs, and elegantly express your expectations. That’s not it. Jodi Logik will automatically create a video of your profile. When you create your Jodi Logik profile, you will clearly communicate your personality and expectations. Your Jodi Logik profile leaves no room for surprises.
2. Share your biodata for marriage elegantly
If anybody expresses interest in your matrimony profile or ask for your detailed biodata for marriage, send them a trackable email invite to view your Jodi Logik profile. See how many times your profile was viewed and stop access to anyone. You can even set up a separate password for everyone that has access to your Jodi Logik profile.
3. Communicate elegantly
With a Jodi Logik profile, you can communicate with anyone viewing your profile elegantly. Just look for the heart icons that magically show up when someone has a question. No more inboxes to manage. Carry on multiple threads of conversations independently around your likes, interests, and expectations.
Open the ‘Brides / Bridegrooms Wanted’ section in your local newspaper or magazine or log into any online matrimony site to check out a matrimony profile, you are bound to come across phrases like these:
“Looking for a homely, educated girl that can live with the in-laws.” “Looking for Doctors and Engineers only.” “Innocent divorced boy looking for a beautiful, fair girl. Divorcees, please excuse.”
So why do the so called cultured Indian, supposed to be a descendant of an ancient civilization, known for culture and traditions, suddenly turn into a hypocrite when creating a matrimony profile or placing an ad in the matrimony section of a newspaper?
Well, the answer is in our culture.
Our value systems have not yet evolved to respect people as they are and it shows up our daily life as well. We are also a confused lot. We end up embracing western stereotypes with gusto but ignore all worthwhile traits and behaviors such as courtesy and respect.
Not convinced? We have unearthed an insightful article on this topic from Ayesha Khan. Titled, “Who are we to decide?”, Ayesha brings out the everyday situations where we openly discriminate and exhibit racist tendencies.
Here are some of the extracts from this article that makes a compelling point about our obnoxious behavior and thoughts.
The radio jockey that happens to be fat
Sameer walked on the corridor of the RJ station with a spring in his step. He was finally going to meet Sarah, the woman who had filled his mornings with her lively yet somehow, soothing voice. Although she was famous among a lot of Bangaloreans for her morning show, Sameer felt he really knew her.
After winning a rapid-fire quiz on air, he had won himself the chance to meet her in person, go on air as the guest of the show and more importantly, just see her. A woman he had been trying to picture in his mind for so long. He skipped forward with a low whistling hum of a love song. He saw her then, across the sound proof glass. Curly hair, brown eyes and a dimple on her chin. She was cute, to say the least. Yet Sameer was disappointed.
Back home, when Anshul, his “Bhai” asked him about her, he merely said, “She was very cute man, if only she wasn’t FAT.”
A brilliant girl who happens to be dark
Sonali sat on the plush cushioned couch in the waiting room to meet the headmistress. She had won the State Level debate Competition, against fifty other participants from schools across the state. She was smiling away to glory in her ecstasy of making her school proud.
Neha walked in with her friends to collect the sports scholarship papers from the receptionist. She smiled at Sonali and mouthed “Congratulations!” with a smile. Sonali grinned ear to ear and said, “Thank you”.
Neha turned to leave and told her friends, “Such a nice girl. It’s a pity she is so DARK. Poor thing.”
How tall should a man be?
Edwin joined the new company a week ago and had already made a couple of “friend-leagues”. He came across as smart, cheerful and funny. Most people spoke among themselves that “even though he was AVERAGE looking”, he was good. Liz said to Riya, “He seems your type. Why don’t you go out with him?”
Riya sized him up as he stood talking to a teammate and replied “Nah. I would probably if he were taller.”
“But you are shorter than him”, Liz said.
“Guys are supposed to be tall to look manly enough”, came the prompt reply.
It’s time to change your matrimony profile
We started Jodi Logik because we were fed up stereotyped matrimony profiles, ads, and biodata for marriage. We are not against arranged marriages. In fact, we have unearthed data to prove that arranged marriages seem to create enduring relationships. However, age-old practices that precede arranged marriages should change.
Say no to a stereotyped matrimony profile or a biodata for marriage. Even better, create a Jodi Logik profile and let’s change our country one profile at a time.
Matrimony sites in India – A key facilitator for arranged marriages
Matrimony sites are online portals that facilitate arranged marriage matchmaking for Indians and South Asian populations. These sites are used by individuals who want to go through an arranged marriage as well as parents who are looking for suitable matches for their sons or daughters. Matrimony sites are religion or community-based as most Indians who prefer arranged marriages tend to marry within their religion or caste.
According to KPMG, India has approximately 356 million who are in the marriageable age group of 18 to 35 years and 93 million of them were unmarried!
That’s not all. KPMG estimates that 71 million marriages will take place in India between 2015 to 2020. For comparison, imagine a population that’s large than the entire population of Thailand or UK or France!
The Taj Wedding Barometer survey of 2013 concluded that around 75 percent of Indians prefer arranged marriages. Even if we account for a growing number of Indians who prefer marriages based on love aka love marriage, we are still left with a large population of Indians who seem to prefer arranged marriage.
And when you have millions of marriages to arrange, guess who stepped up to the plate? Online matrimony sites in India have mushroomed from every corner of India to help Indians (and Non-resident Indians as well) set up arranged marriages.
It is estimated there are over 2600+ matrimony sites in India with a combined active user base exceeding 7 million users! That’s a lot of people looking to find a match online. Yet, there is a lot more who may potentially sign up for matrimony sites!
If you are in the “marriageable” age, your parents might have already created your profile in online matrimonial sites and this might make you wonder what prompted them to do this! No matter what your reason is for wondering why Indians rely on matrimony sites, we have compiled the reasons.
1. Nuclear families rely on matrimony sites
Families in India have been going through major changes as a result of urbanisation and changing economic profile. The
The median family size in India has come down in urban areas and even rural areas are seeing similar trends.
Let’s go back in time when your grandfather / grandmother was young and unmarried. In the early 1900s, the joint family system was common. Since travel and economic opportunities were local and driven by agriculture, population movement and relocation were not as common as it is now.
The end result was that you had community members belonging to the same caste / religion living in close proximity. It became easy for people to find matches through their “old-fashioned” social network.
Shaadi, one of the largest matrimony sites in India conducted a survey among over 8000 respondents in the age group of 24 to 34 years. 64% of women surveyed wanted to “live separately with husband” after marriage. Among the male respondents, 44% wanted to “live separately with wife” after marriage.
The survey proves the point that the joint family system in India has been slowly giving way to the nuclear family. The joint family system not only meant living with extended family in the same house, it also meant having most family members living in the same street or town.
The implication of not living in close contact with extended family members automatically imposes limitations of the ability of parents to find suitable matches from the same community.
Matrimony sites help parents improve their ability to locate prospective matches from within the same community or caste and that’s one of the reasons why parents prefer to sign up with matrimony sites.
2. Urbanisation and greater choice
As urbanisation took hold and transportation has become easier, and the practice of moving away from your village or town in pursuit of a better life has now become common. As a result, you have a large number of nuclear families that are completely uprooted from their communities.
Gradually, the ability of parents to just use their social network has diminished and the net effect is the dependence on matrimonial sites to find a suitable match from within the community / social class.
There is another aspect that has contributed to the growth of matrimony sites and i.e the ability to actually look beyond caste and community preferences!
There is a new breed of urban matchmaking apps that provide young men and women opportunities to find someone with compatible lifestyle and interests.
This trend has rubbed on traditional matrimony sites as well. While a majority of profiles you will find in matrimony sites place emphasis on caste and community, you will also find a group of users who exercise choice based on other parameters.
Check out this video from The New York Times.
Specialised matrimony sites for divorcees, matrimony sites for second marriage, matrimony sites meant for physically challenged people, matrimony sites for doctors or even matrimony sites for people who graduated from elite educational institutions are some of the additional options that attract a lot of people who otherwise found it difficult to find matches through arranged marriages.
3. Matrimony sites are time machines
Matrimony sites are essentially taking you back in time. You can call them matrimony time machines. If you notice, they are organised on the basis of caste or religion.
Just Google “<name of your religion / caste>matrimony” and let us know if you can’t find a matrimony site that fits your search criteria.
Essentially, they are providing an online version of your home town or village where you can find people that trace their ancestry to your hometown or nearby places and belong to the same caste or religion! For example, Google “Matrimony sites in Chennai” and you will find local matrimony sites that cater to the prominent communities in Chennai.
Leading matrimony sites have implemented micro-market strategies for offering matchmaking services for every caste / community throughout India.
Bharat Matrimony declares “we offer products and services that are tailored to meet the requirements of customers based on their religious, linguistic, caste and community preferences.“
That’s not the only way matrimony sites reinforce age-old traditions. Here are some interesting insights presented by Livemint in an article titled “Who’s searching for whom on matrimonial websites.”
A majority of Indian men prefer to marry younger women.
Men and women prefer to marry from within their caste.
Men prefer marrying women who aren’t as qualified as them. Women prefer men with a higher educational qualification.
As you can see, matrimonial sites continue to reinforce the stereotypes that run deep in the Indian society.
4. Indians have not yet embraced dating sites
Dating sites have taken the plunge in India.
Millions of Dollars have gone into funding a flurry of dating sites targeting the young, urban Indians. Even Tinder has launched its India operations.
Yet, none of these dating sites has challenged established online matrimony sites in the sheer volume of marriages that matrimony sites spawn off.
Interested in dating? Read our comprehensive article on dating sites in India and what women should know before using them! Click here to read this article.
The intent of dating may not be marriage from the get go, but Indians have not embraced the idea of using dating as the stepping stone to marriage.
Check out this brutal take-down of the dating scene in India!
Dating using online sites or through offline connections is not a culturally accepted practice in India yet. The idea that men and women will deliberately meet with just romance as the outcome is not something Indians accept readily.
Until and unless there are credible alternatives, Indians will continue to rely on online matrimony sites for arranged marriages.
5. Commerce has gone online!
India is experiencing an Internet boom. The numbers are staggering in fact. As of November 2016, India has over 460 million Internet users accounting for over 13% of internet users in the world.
According to Deloitte, mobile internet spend has risen from 54% to 64% of smartphone users from 2014 to 2015. This is due to an availability of high-speed 3G & 4G internet connectivity at affordable prices which has led to an increase in transactions done via mobile.
The outcome of the changing behaviour is the increasing growth of e-commerce / online transactions.
The rapid growth of e-commerce industry indicates changing online habits of Indians.
One of the casualties of the changing consumer habits has been the traditional matchmakers or marriage brokers. They are now a vanishing tribe as prospective customers find it lot more convenient to just register with any of the matrimony sites online instead of venturing to matchmaking melas (mass events that for face to face interactions with prospective matches).
The St. Mary’s Co-Cathedral Church in Chennai has a matchmaking centre just for it’s members. Church members have to fill out a detailed form to register their son / daughter / relative for matching. The Chruch has a small team that matches the profiles manually and connects the prospective matches by sending out snail mail postcards. If the match results in marriage, they collect a fee from both the parties.
The advent of online matchmaking has disrupted setups like these. People who register with community brokers (like that in the St. Mary’s Church) find it easier to go through the process online and in some cases refuse to pay the matchmaking fee based on the claim that they found the matching profile through online matrimony sites!
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