Real people share their stories on how they found their soulmates
We turned to quora to unearth personal accounts on how people found their partners. We love Quora because this is among the few places where people bare their heart and soul in terms of asking questions about everything under the sun. Finding love, relationships, marriage, weddings are popular topics in Quora and there are lots of inspiring responses from people around the world.
Story 1: Excuse me! I will have a cup of tea.
This is a story of a mistaken identity. Eventually, the woman sees something more than what she assumed!
It was around 5 p.m. As per my routine I went to a nearby tea stall for my daily evening snacks. And I had a really bad hangover from last night, I was kinda stinking and I hadn’t shaved since long. The shop owner and the workers, everyone knew me. I was talking to them in a friendly manner when a pretty girl arrived in the shop with her friend.
After a minute or two…
Pretty Girl (to me): Excuse me, can I get a tea, please?
I, after saying ‘WTF! Why?’ in my mind, after a few seconds, straightaway went to the counter and asked for a cup of tea and placed it on her table.
Pretty Girl: Thank you.
Me: You’re welcome. (After a pause) By the way, I don’t work here.
Pretty Girl (Embarrassed more than surprised): OMG! I’m so sorry. I thought. . .
Me (Interrupting her, chuckling ): No, no! It’s not your fault, I had a really bad hangover from last night and I didn’t take a bath so I’m kinda messed up. But hey, I don’t look that bad.
Both of us laughed sheepishly.
Well, later I managed to convince the pretty girl that I don’t really look that bad. Now I make tea for the pretty girl every morning. We occasionally recall this conversation and laugh crazily.
Story 2: My boyfriend introduced me to my love
This is a story that might have a completely different point of view depending on who you ask. It’s a fairy tale story for the woman, but her boyfriend ended up introducing his girlfriend to her soulmate!
I was living in an inner city suburb of Sydney in my twenties with my boyfriend. The backyards were small and the front footpaths had huge trees in them. One day I got the idea of putting a rope swing in the tree in front of the house we were renting and I spent a great afternoon swinging on it and playing with my dogs.
The following weekend I saw three carrot colored haired kids under 10 and there very tall dark and handsome and fun loving Dad playing on my swing several times.
I stood at the doorway admiring them.
Later that week my boyfriend came home from a jog and told me he’d run into a friend of his that went all the way back to preschool right thru to high school. However, he really criticized him saying, “and he’s been in the same job all his life”. This was anathema to him as he was a would-be entrepreneur always chasing the next sweet dollar. I privately thought his friend had the right idea compared to our rags to riches to rags experiences together. Imagine my surprise when a few days later my boyfriend introduced me to his friend he’d brought home to meet me and it was the same man I’d admired and said Hello to while he was playing with his children on my swing!
We hit it off and I broke up with my boyfriend and started dating him- and his children. We have now been together for 28 years and added to our family. I still think he is handsome, sensible and sweet.
Story 3: The power of belief, no matter how foolish it may be!
This is a story of a man as narrated by his friend. It’s yet another example of the extraordinary courage men manage to muster for the sake of love! BTW, check out this interesting article on how people find their soulmates in airports. You will know why this article is relevant very soon!
He was traveling from Delhi to Mumbai and was checking in his stuff at the airport. A sweet girl was standing in the adjacent queue and their eyes met. A courteous smile they both managed (He isn’t that brave, but that day something got into him) somehow. It should have been the end of story. They didn’t even know that they both were traveling to Mumbai or not.
Next came the security check, again a smile…well now my friend got interested. By the way just interested he had been for many other ladies prior to that. But something was about to happen that would change his life.
He happened to take a seat behind her. My friend was a bit heartbroken as he thought the seat adjoining the girl is vacant but when he could have it was not filled by ‘U’ until the last minute before the security measures cheerleaders were there in front of him and he got too busy ogling them for few minutes before bringing his thoughts back to the girl.
Then it happened.
My friend to the Unknown stranger: Ummm….hey
Unknown stranger: Hey
My friend: Could you please switch the seats with me? ACTUALLY SHE (THE GIRL) AND I ARE TRAVELLING TOGETHER!
The two are now getting married!
Story 4: A 20-minute wait that lead to a lifetime of togetherness
This woman met her former karate student at a bus station. What happened next lasted for over 33 years till he died. Reuters
I entered the enormous New York City Bus Station excited about my recent purchase: the dress I would wear to my best friend’s wedding. I waited in line for a bus to New Jersey. A man walked up to me and said, “mind if I wait with you?”
(the nerve of these New Yorkers! I thought)
But I said: I don’t believe I know you.
He said: Don’t you remember Master Kim’s Karate?
I tried to imagine him in a karate outfit.
Oh, yes. He was one of the beginners I had taught briefly.
We stood talking in line until the bus came, 20 minutes later. By the time we got on the bus he knew we would be married. I felt as if I had found someone I had been missing for my entire life.
Six weeks later he proposed. We got married on the anniversary of out meeting in the New York Bus Station.
We were married for 33 years until he died.
Story 5: You are so sweet
This is a story of how love can make a man out of you! Imagine a shy geek, meeting a girl and then audaciously telling her she is the sweetest girl he has ever met. But that’s not all.
Just after finishing my 12th standard exams, I applied for all the top-tier Engineering and Medical entrance examinations in the country. One of them was the All India Pre-Medical Test. I had to travel to the nearest city to take the exam. Luckily, I had a lot of friends with me and we were all going (and staying) together.
On the day of the examination, after taking two 3-hour long, grueling tests, we walked out of the examination hall, more relieved than confident. It was around 8 pm in the night, so I decided to go straight to the hotel room and take some rest.
When we reached there, one of my friends suddenly remembered that he had to meet his friend who was staying in a girls’ hostel in the same city. I decided to accompany him reluctantly.
We reached the hostel in half an hour, but I was not in the mood for conversing or even the basic courtesies. And then she arrived- dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans, her hair just tied up carelessly in a bunch. She hugged him and he introduced me. She then shook my hand. And all this time, I just stood there, like an idiot, staring at her. I could not even construct the basic sentences. To give you a backdrop, I am very shy by nature. I rarely talk to girls and I have never had a girlfriend before. Flirting was just not my cup of tea.
But that day something happened. While leaving, I gathered up the courage to ask for her number, pulled her cheeks and told her boldly, “You are the cutest girl I have ever met”
4 months and tons of late-night calls later, I proposed to her, she accepted and we have been together since then. As of date, we have been together for more than 5.5 years (the first 4 of which were long-distance) and plan to get engaged soon.
The day I met her was 1st April 2007. So, I guess they are right when they say,“Only fools fall in love”.
Story 6: The Cricket World Cup sealed the deal!
When you are together with your special friend rooting for the same team, your team wins the world cup and your special friend confesses her love. Can things get better than that?
There was a girl and there was a boy. They studied in the same school and lived only a few miles apart. He was Mr. Studious and she was Ms. Girl Next Door. The boy was very shy in terms of talking to girls so they never ever exchanged even a “Hi” with each other. She later changed schools and cities as her Father moved his business to the other city. The boy continued and finished his school one year later.
They both ended up studying in two different towns, two different streams of science (his: CS and her: Biochemistry) with no connections for many years. She remembered him. He did not. Even the faintest of memories faded. And that’s where technology came to the rescue. Those were the days of Orkut dying a painful death at the hands of a cool new Facebook. The boy switched to Facebook. The girl had already joined Facebook much before.
Both had changed a lot by then. He was not just Mr. Studious anymore. He was a part of his college’s Drama club and was onto his baby steps in photography. She had presented in few of the top places in India, was absolutely in awe of her new found love of Hindustani Classical music. She was a much more confident girl now spurred on by her Grandfather. The boy’s grandmother also had a similar impact on him. He was not shy anymore and knew life had good things in store.
Unfortunately, both of them lost their support- She lost her Grandfather and he lost his Grandmother at around the same time. Life went on until one fine day the girl came across the boy’s profile. He had a camera in hand with a grin on his face. She thought he looked cute. A friend request was sent. The boy looked at the friend request. Realized looking at the profile that she was from his school and she looked cute in her photo too 🙂 He accepted.
Facebook likes converted to comments. Comments to Facebook chats and Facebook chats to messaging (SMS). WhatsApp was an unknown entity then. They never had yet talked on the phone. One day the girl had a good reason to call. The guy had just been offered his second job before graduating and he seemed happy. She felt this is the moment to call and congratulate. The boy was in a public transport bus and he had butterflies in his stomach when he saw “Aditi Calling” He picked up.
What followed was electric. It felt like the whole world had stopped and the only people who existed were him and the girl on the phone. The connection was instant. There was something special about this.
It was the start of the year 2011. The Facebook chats and messaging had become more and more intimate. They had even started writing poems together in the chat window. He was a huge cricket fan. India was doing well. It was the World Cup final. All the friends had gathered in his house. He was chatting with her on the phone. As the match progressed he realized that the moment he stopped texting her, India would lose control on the match. Be it a Mahela Jayawardene century or Sachin falling for 18 or a Virat Kohli caught and bold. So he did not stop texting. India had to win at all costs. They kept on texting. without even a break of a minute and Dhoni finished off in style. Everyone started dancing. It was a dream come true. He was extremely happy. She texted him, “I love the boys in blue (the Indian cricket team) and I love you too” He knew it was special and the world cup win almost sealed it for him. He realized that her presence in his life would be the best thing that would happen to him. He replied in the affirmative.
Take a deep breath and think about what just happened here. A boy and a girl just confessed their love for each other without even meeting once. Surely it was that special. Few days later they were absolutely certain about each other and wanted to be committed for life to each other.
Story 7: Mutual hatred for Chetan Bhagat can bring soulmates together!
This is a classic story of how shared interests can bring couples together. The two met at a bookstore by chance and their love for books and hatred towards a best-selling author was all it took to bring them together!
I met him in Crossword (bookstore chain). Well, I saw him for the first time in Crossword. He was with a friend of his looking at books when his friend suddenly said “Hey! Look! There’s Chetan Bhagat’s new book ‘Two States'”. Taken aback by this over-enthusiastic exclamation, he replied, “you mean Chetan Faggot?”. That was so funny! I tried hard to suppress, but couldn’t. I burst out laughing so hard, tears were coming out of my eyes! He gave me a startled look and then… and then… that ever-so-charming smile of his. He gestured over-the-air-hi-five at me and then went on about his business.
In a moment, he had put a bug in my brain that won’t leave. Later days, so many times I would think of that incident to myself, and smile in a stupid way. It had been a week and I had no clue how I could ever get to see him again and had already started longing to see him smile, the longing stronger and stronger every day. Not sure what prompted me, but put this incident on Facebook:
Almost died laughing the other day… heard someone calling Chetan Bhagat “Chetan F*****” at Crossword! #ChetanBhagatSucks
Three days later, I was in for the most pleasant surprise of my life… I had a friend request from him! And a message “Oh! you are that girl who cried laughing!”
We started chatting on Facebook regularly, most of the times discussing books. Our tastes in books were so similar! I remember, one night, I had an exam next day; but spent almost five hours chatting with him, discussing ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’. It was interesting and strange how within a couple of weeks I was so much at ease with him and how it felt like we shared a bond stronger than I had known anything before…
Later we shifted to phone from Facebook chat and talking on and on for hours together about our favorite books became a routine. Once he mentioned he just loved Tagore, which made me feel a bit ashamed. “Being a Bengali, I haven’t read Tagore!” For next week, I was sitting in classes, reading Tagore under my desk!
Our dates were very special too. We would go around the streets of Delhi, window shopping at the footpath booksellers. All I used to notice was the books, he talking, and his smile!
On my birthday, he gifted me a special edition of all of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock works. Later that night, I opened the wrappings, when I opened the first book, a note, and a pressed rose flower fell down. It said…
The time we spent together, the discussions we had,
they are like this rose flower, worth preserving forever
wouldn’t be wrong if I want more of these moments
it is your hands whether you want to turn me into James or Severus…
Tears were streaming along with a smile. That was the best birthday I had! We are now married for a couple of years, expecting a baby in three months! Strange how our mutual hatred for Chetan Bhagat blossomed into the most beautiful thing in my life.
How to find your soulmate: Expert opinion
Having sampled an eclectic mix of personal accounts from people from diverse cultures and places, we can draw a few conclusions about how we find our soulmates:
- You got to get out of your comfort zone or put yourself in situations where you have a chance to meet someone.
- Having a personal passion such as books, music, or any other passion actually can help you. You will, at least, have something to talk about other than the weather!
- An ability to think on the feet and being spontaneous will be an asset.
Dating sites like Truly Madly, Woo as well as online matrimony sites like Bharat Matrimony, Shaadi, and Jeevansaathi all talk about one thing – Compatibility. The typical sales pitch all dating and matrimony sites dish out is “they help find your soulmate.” How do they do it? You are asked to answer a lot of questions or provide all kind of mind-numbing details about yourself when you sign up for these dating sites. All sites also claim to have a “magical” algorithm that will somehow map your profile with “compatible” profiles. In the case of some of the dating sites, they attempt to “read” your personality in order to find a compatible profile from the database. But before we get carried away, it is important to understand who is a soulmate and why compatibility is important for finding a soulmate?
According to the Gottman Relationship blog (Find out more about Gottman and his “love lab” here), “Naturally you want to be with someone who shares the same values as you and perhaps even someone who enjoys similar activities like rock climbing. Secondly, it only seems logical to search for another person that also wants to raise children and begin a family someday.”
But that’s not the end of the story here. According to Dr. Ted Hudson of the University of Texas, the question of compatibility comes up only if a couple is unhappy. If you ask happy couples, they will say that compatibility is not an issue for them and it was them that make their relationship work. But if you talk to unhappy couples, they will emphatically declare that they are incompatible! In other words, “we are incompatible” actually means “we don’t get along well”. In other words, successful couples work hard to make their relationship last and are not looking to move on to another relationship! This also probably explains why arranged marriages tend to work better than love marriages.
Long story short, the success of the relationship has nothing to do with compatibility and everything to do with the couple’s commitment to making it work.
Now, let’s look at what do we mean by a soulmate? Here is what Dr. Gottman has to say:
“So next time you spot someone who catches your attention and makes your pupils dilate with interest and enthusiasm, pay attention to whether or not they can see the dream you envisioned for your life. If they can share in your delight and can accept you for who you are today, not for who you can be tomorrow, then you have found your soulmate.”
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