Marrying a photographer?
if you are marrying a photographer, you will have to understand how they think, how they see the world, and how their passion for photography.
Photographers have left a lasting legacy in our minds. They are the keepers of memories that help a new generation of people look back at the past that they were not a part of or offer nostalgia to people looking back at their past.
Without realising it, we interact a lot with photographers through their works. If you are reading this blog, did you ever wonder where all the beautiful images came from? Photographs are everywhere and we take them for granted. But those of us who intend to marry a photographer cannot afford to ignore the photographs and their creators! Wondering why? What if you are planning to marry a professional or even an amateur photographer?
If you have decided to marry a photographer or have a potential match with a photographer, here are some pointers about what it is like being married to a photographer.
The mind of a photographer
Being married to a photographer might be tougher than what you might think. Photographers are artistic people who love their cameras and their work more than they probably love you. They are passionate and have a unique and sometimes weird way of looking at the world. They capture anything and everything they can lay their eyes on. They are the people who are constantly attached to their cameras or their phones; uploading or Instagramming their everyday activities. Dating and falling in love with photographers might seem easy but marrying a photographer is a totally different game ball.
Photographers might seem like people who just love to take photographs, but that’s not the entire truth. Photographers like to capture moments of people and things around us in ways that were never done before. If there is one sentence that they hate it is ‘Can you please take my profile pic for Facebook?’
They are disciplined, articulate, creative and hard working. They will scream when they realise a particular picture they took has a slight lighting error which most of us wouldn’t even notice. You will see them standing still, with eyes glued to lens and finger ready to click, for minutes on stretch waiting for that right moment. They are perfectionists. With them, every tiny detail needs to be set right. They don’t believe in ‘Oh! what a lucky shot!’ They like to work hard towards getting that shot.
Photographers have the ability to empathise with your feelings. They will understand when you are sad or lonely just by looking at your eyes. They will give you space when you are busy with some work or project because they understand passion.
In short, photographers are artistic, patient and passionate people who love capturing the beauty of the world on their cameras.
Photographers are artists
Photographers are artists. They have needs and cravings that need attention. There will be days when they would just need to capture some good pictures to fill the void inside them. There will be days when they will be sad or silent without any reason and you might not be able to do anything. There will be days when they are cranky and mad at you for no fault of yours just because they couldn’t capture a wonderful moment and now it is gone. Be patient. They will come to you, all jumping and excited, once they find something beautiful that they have captured. They will make you fall in love with the world and with life by showing you images that were right in front of you but still invisible. They will fill your life with beauty, sadness, pain, love and wonder. They will bring magic into your life.
Is this my holiday or your project?
You might think you are on a vacation but with photographers, there is no such thing as a vacation. It’s always a project. No matter where you are vacationing, they will always carry their camera and gear with them.
We are not saying that they won’t spend time with you but just that you shouldn’t get mad at them if they interrupt you to capture something nice. The rewards of your patience are that at the end of every vacation, you will have an amazing album.
Family life in portrait and landscape
With photographers, there is no drawing the line. Be it your own marriage or the birth of your first child, they want to capture and treasure everything. They see the world through their lenses and that is how they like it best.
So be ready to see photos of your firstborn in various costumes and props. And be ready if she wants to shoot your wedding by herself; it can turn out to be pretty good. Here is a photographer who actually did that.
Be ready to be a muse or a prop
Be ready to take instructions. They may have brought a new lens or an accessory and may want to practice on someone. Be ready to stand in a corner or even disappear from the scene when they find a real beautiful view. Be ready for a possible part-time career in modelling. You might not have a choice. Be ready to get shot over and over again (only with a camera, hopefully) and be ready to admit it when you start liking it. Marrying a photographer means agreeing to be a model and prop. It comes with the marriage contract, seriously!
It might sometimes get frustrating when you are constantly being photographed, but be patient. We bet you will fall in love with yourself.
Photographers speak through their camera
No, they don’t literally speak through the camera! Photographers, unlike writers, are not big on words. But they show their love and express their feelings through the way they capture you in their photographs. It might take a little time for you to understand their language, but once you do that, it is a life of beautiful conversations and sweet memories. If you are with a photographer, you will see the image that you didn’t know existed. Thank them for that.
You will have lots of memories captured and stored. Cherish them. Photographers are passionate people. If they love you, hold them close. Because whatever they love, they love with all their heart.
Ratna Mohini and Henri Cartier-Bresson
Here is a real life example of a talented woman who married the world renowned photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson.
Henri married Ratna Mohini, an Indonesian dancer and poet and they lived together for 30 years before they divorced in 1967. Henri had an unassuming and shy personality (which is a great asset for a photographer who doesn’t want to distract his subject) while Ratna was more outgoing in nature. She was instrumental in helping Henri gain access to his famous subjects. Ratna’s friendship with Nehru’s sister helped Henri gain access to the Gandhi family during his stints in India!
Tell us your experience of dating / being in a relationship with a photographer. Share with friends and ask them if they can relate to this.
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