Why do we need quotes on arranged marriage?
Love it or hate it, arranged marriages are here to say. Quotes on arranged marriage or for that matter, any other topic become popular because they bring out deep insights about the topic. These insights are based on many years of personal experiences. Some of these experiences may be good or it may have been miserable. irrespective of what the person that came up with the quotation had gone through, all of us benefit from their wisdom.
Why are quotes on arranged marriage important?
Arranged marriages are misunderstood and despised a lot. Just check out the multitude of opinions in these links:
What do men think about arranged marriages?
Do you think arranged marriages are stupid?
Our favourite is this response from a woman about her personal experience.
Notice that there is no distinction between arranged marriage and forced marriage! There is also a sweeping comment made about the success of arranged marriages and how they are human rights violations!
In order to set the record straight about arranged marriages, we need words of wisdom; not ignorance, poor understanding or outright confusion packaged as a passionate appeal.
15 good quotes on arranged marriage
Here is a pick of quotes on arranged marriage that will open your eyes to both the advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriage.
1. Inspired by the Bible
Michael Ben Zehabe is an author, columnist, and speaker. He wrote a book for his daughter that was later published. The book is a collection of wisdom from the various women in the Bible on how to make love last a lifetime. The author believes in the fact that ancient scriptures and books have a lot of wisdom applicable to our contemporary life.
Our matriarchs had an interesting advantage over today’s western women. Matriarchs didn’t begin their marriage with love. Instead, they were taught how to love. They entered marriage with an earnest determination to grow a love that would sustain their marriage for a lifetime. Michael Ben Zehabe.
2. An afterthought?
Dustin Hoffman is an acting legend from Hollywood and has the distinction of winning the academy awards for best actor twice (Kramer Vs Kramer and Rain Man). He went through a divorce after an eleven-year marriage but has remained married to his second wife since1980.
Arranged marriages I think make a lot of sense because you’re not under the pressure of being in love. It’s an easy contract. You don’t have to like each other and then whatever happens, happens. Dustin Hoffman
3. Against marriage
Osho, born as Chandra Mohan Jain, was an Indian guru and spiritual leader who gained international fame. He is known for his discourses on life, religion, sexuality, socialism and some of his teachings also created conflicts with mainstream society. Here is a quote where he expresses his opposition to the concept of marriage and has a compelling argument to make.
But I am all for love, and I am against marriage, particularly the arranged kind, because the arranged marriage gives you satisfaction. And love? – love can never satisfy you. It gives you more and more thirst for a better and better love, it makes you more and more long for it, it gives you tremendous discontentment. And that discontent is the beginning of the search for God. When love fails many times, you start looking for a new kind of lover, a new kind of love, a new quality of love. That love affair is prayer, meditation, sannyas. – Osho
Check out real life, arranged marriage stories with a twist! Click here to read this blog post.
4. Against arranged marriage
We have yet another quote from Osho on arranged marriage. He believes our parent’s preference for arranged marriage has stifled the possibility of people falling in love!
India missed with arranged marriage; the West is missing with free love. India missed love because parents were too calculating and cunning. They would not allow falling in love: that is dangerous, nobody knows where it will lead. They were too clever, and through cleverness India missed all possibility of love. Osho
5. The most misunderstood quotation of this century
Marcelle Ferron was a Canadian stained glass artist and painter. Her works are celebrated in Canada and many of her works are showcased in public buildings. Her quote about arranged marriage is actually NOT about arranged marriage at all! In fact, she was referring to the match between building and art! She wanted a natural blend of art and architecture as opposed to art being placed on the building as an afterthought.
My aim has always been modest; I wanted to transform the arranged marriage into a love match. Marcelle Ferron
6. On arranged marriage
Leo Tolstoy is considered one of the greatest authors of all time. His works include epic novels like War and Peace and Anna Karenina. His support for a non-violent approach to resistance against the establishment is said to have inspired Mahatma Gandhi. Tolstoy explores the social condition of women in Russia and his characters in this fiction and novellas are women struggling with arranged marriages, marrying men who are way too older because it was arranged. How women are portrayed by Tolstoy is a subject that has attracted a lot of discussions. Here is one such example.
The only happy marriages I know are arranged ones – Leo Tolstoy.
7. Get married already
Sandhya Ramachandran is a storyteller, artist, and photographer. She was profiled in our earlier blog posts. Here are her words of wisdom that’s not about arranged marriage but more about how romantic relationships are kept under the lid. So why did we include this in a list of quotes on arranged marriage? The preference of arranged marriage manifests itself in the form of hatred for anything that goes against the norm. This is one such example.
‘Love = Marriage’ is the new theorem about to be introduced in the science textbooks. So, honey, no one cares if you need time to settle financially, emotionally, vertically or diagonally! ‘India wants to know’ when you are getting married! Sandhya Ramachandran
8. All marriages are arranged marriages
Diane Sollee is the founder of SmartMarriages. It’s a movement that aims to strengthen the institution of marriage. Through her seminars, training programs, and outreach, Diane helps couples navigate their marriages through the minefields of day-to-day issues and challenges. She thinks all marriages are “arranged” and for any marriage to be successful, you need to work on it and invest in it.
In actuality, all marriages are “arranged” marriages whether they’re arranged by some website matchmaker, our parents, or by Mother Nature and her magic. In each case you’re matched up with someone you don’t know and with whom you need to – gradually and progressively – fall ever more deeply in love. Diane Sollee
9. Love marriages are no different from arranged marriages
Michael Rosenfeld is an Associate Professor in the department of sociology at Stanford University. He has done extensive research and studies on marriages, interracial marriages, and same-sex marriages. You can find a list of all his current and past publications here.
“The people we end up married to or partnered up with end up being similar to us in race, religion and class background and age, which means that they might not be all that different from the person that your mother would have picked for you.” Michael J. Rosenfeld.
10. Arranged but…
Madhuri Dixit is a well known Bollywood actress. She needs no introduction in India even though she is semi-retired and no longer active as she was before her arranged marriage to a Doctor in the US. Her arranged marriage also include free choice. She had the opportunity to meet her would be husband a few times before accepting the proposal.
People say ours is an arranged marriage. In a way, our meeting was arranged by our parents but eventually it was the two of us who decided on the marriage. We met and went out together for a few times. We dated for a while and then agreed to marry. Madhuri Dixit
11. Your marriage is arranged for sure
Sir Terry Pratchett is an English author of fantasy novels and comics. He is famous for his Discworld Comics fantasy series. The stories featuring witches in his books has a witch named is Nanny Ogg. According to Wikipedia, Nanny Ogg is ” a jolly, personable witch with the “common touch” who enjoys a smoke and a pint of beer, often leading to her singing bawdy folk songs.” Nanny Ogg is known for her gregarious personality and her ability to connect with people through her wisdom. Here is a humorous quote from Nanny Ogg.
Arranged marriages are still pretty common in these parts (and now I come to think of it, what other kinds are there? It’s not as if the boy and the girl and all their relatives and a new dress and the priest of choice and a slap-up knife-and-fork tea for forty all turn up in one place by accident, is it?). Nanny Ogg
12. Arranged marriages are rarely so well arranged
Jamie Lannister is a central character in the Game of Thrones television series. Considered to be the most watched TV series, the Game of Thrones is coming back for its 6th season in April 2016. It is based on book series The Song of Ice and Fire by George RR Martin. Jamie’s daughter (Myrcella Baratheon) is arranged to be married this is the context for this quote.
You are lucky, arranged marriages are rarely so well arranged. Jaime Lannister
13. Don’t seek happiness from marriage!
The Devdutt Pattanaik is a physician, leadership consultant, and mythologist. In this book “Sita: An Illustrated Retelling of Ramayana“, he focuses on Sita. While the popular narrative focuses only on Rama, this book takes an in-depth look at the struggles and the challenges that Sita faced and also highlights the strength of her character.
Janaka told her (Sita) to bring happiness into marriage, rather than seek happiness from it. Devdutt Pattanaik
14. Dowry is bad according to The Gita
The Bhagavad Gita is a Hindu scripture in Sanskrit that is a part of the Mahabharata. It captures the dialogue between Arjuna of Pandavas and his guide and charioteer, Lord Krishna. Krishna answers the difficult question and dilemmas faced by Arjun as he battles the Kauravas.
A marriage of the demons results when money is taken in exchange for the bride. Baghavad Gita
15. Islam and arranged marriages
According to this blog post, “Arranged marriages are allowed and promoted in Islam as long as they are accepted by both the bride and the groom. One of the conditions for the Nikah (marriage ceremony) to be valid is both the man and woman are asked independently of each other as to whether they agree with the marriage or not. If either of them says ‘no’ then the Nikah cannot continue.” Al Mughirah Ibn Shaibah was one of the last companions to see the Prophet before he died. Here is a quote from him.
“I got engaged to a woman at the time of the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace). He asked me “Have you seen her?” I said “No”. He said “go and have a look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility is established between you.” Al Mughirah Ibn Shaibah
In summary, we can see that arranged marriage or even marriage evokes strong reactions. No matter how you get married – arranged marriage or love marriage, marriages need a lot of hard work and patience to be successful.
Watch this next: Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage?